Trust
by Alice84
Summary: You may not always trust the person you love, but you can always love the person whom you trust.
1. Chapter 1

All right, this is my first fan fiction ever written in English. Brazilian Portuguese is my mother language, and this is a challenge for me.

I don't have a betta, so please be patient with me if/when you see mistakes. I'm trying hard, promise. I welcome bettas and constructive reviews regarding the story and writing.

Thank you for reading, I hope you'll enjoy!

Central Park shone by that summer Saturday. People gave up on lying at the grass to enjoy the heat; it was now way too much. Looking for the generous shadows the trees would provide, drinking litters of water and fruit ice cream, the general wonder was how abnormally hot that afternoon was.

A group of people did not care, though. Their gathering was already finishing, friends hugging happy goodbyes after their reunion. It had been a very successful afternoon where the children presented their capoeira round, teenagers played music to the public and adults sold paintings and shirts and distributed pamphlets to make themselves known. The "Our Sunset Park" organization did that every month to gather money for their project.

When the integrants of the group were almost entirely gone, Valerie Cooper collected the huge purse containing the unsold shirts, waved her goodbye and turned around to leave, a big smile on her face and a little sweat on her forehead and temples. Her huge, curly bushy hair didn't help her a lot on that heat.

"That's her, right there!"

"I can see her, thank you very much. Go now."

Frowning at the man by her side, Hermione Granger stood from the bench she had been sitting, observing the group, and walked towards the other woman. A few feet away, she blond one with the big pack stopped dead on her tracks.

"Hermione?", she asked looking at the other one

Hermione smiled as largely as the other one had been a few moments ago.

"Surprise!"

"What happened?", she asked still not smiling "Something happened, what is it, why are you here?", Valerie babbled when Hermione grew closer

"It's all right", said Hermione, "Nothing happened! I'm in town and I decided to surprise you, that's all!"

"Oh my God, Mione!", Valerie said touching her face and finally smiling "I can't believe it! My baby!"

They hugged tightly and Hermione laughed wholeheartedly "Not a baby anymore, Val".

"Oh, I know that pretty damn well. Look at you!", she said letting her go and letting the pack fall to the ground while holding Hermione's hands

"Well, look at you, too!", said Hermione, "Every time I see you, you're even more stunning. I missed you so much, Val, it's really good to see you."

"Me too, baby. I'm very happy with this surprise, but you don't fool me. What the hell are you doing in New York? Are Jane and Roger here?", she asked looking around

"No, they're in Australia, actually."

"And who are those men standing right there watching us? Are they with you, some of your kind?"

Hermione looked briefly at the same direction "Yes, they are. I don't know how I forget how perceptive you are".

"I practically helped to raise you, Mione, you should be unimpressed that I know you so well".

"You're right. We need to talk. They are with me and yes, they are of 'my kind'", Hermione said gesturing quotes. "Can we go somewhere private?"

"Let's go to my place".

When Hermione walked with Valerie without even looking at the two men around, she asked if they were not going to be introduced. "Later", Hermione answered, and Valerie did not ask any more questions. She led Hermione to the subway station, noticing there were followed by the men, and half an hour later they were entering the housing complex Valerie lived in. Hermione and the men entered right after her. When she turned the key to lock the door, the ever-frowning man with straight black her grew closer and gestured his wand – Valerie knew what that was, she had seen Hermione's before – towards the door and it clicked closed.

"I'd offer you some coffee but it's too damn hot today. I'll serve you some very cold water", Valerie said looking weirdly at them, "Especially you with that coat", she gestured in the same man's direction.

Hermione followed Valerie to the very small kitchen to help with the glasses and they returned quickly.

"Please sit", she said resting the glasses and the water bottle on the coffee table.

They sat down and help themselves to the water. Hermione dried the sweat from her forehead and spoke up, "Valerie, let me introduce you. William Weasley and Severus Snape."

The red haired young man with a scar on his face reached out to Valerie, "Call me Bill. We apologize for showing up with no notice at all".

"I'll quickly accept the apologies if you'd only tell me now what is going on" she said smiling and shaking his hand. The other man made no movement in her direction.

"Val, you remember all the stories I have always told you about me and the wizarding world. I never told you all the facts, too much have happened in the past years. I told you briefly about the entire crisis we had".

"You did, no details. Some crazy asshole trying to rule and kill who were not pure bloods".

"Yes, that. Well, the _crazy asshole_ is dead. There were lots of years of war and a huge battle in the end, and we finally won".

"Wait, 'we'? You included?" Valerie asked looking from Hermione to the two men

"Yes, we. I was part of it, just like Bill and professor Snape were".

"You told me you were involved. But I always thought it was only because you're a witch and it's a small community as you said. Didn't know how involved you were, you fought a war!"

"Yes, and Hermione was a very important part of the victory", said the red haired man

"Oh", mumbled Valerie. "It's over now?"

"Well…" Hermione glanced at the two men "The madman is dead".

"Oh no. You didn't say it is over".

"It's not over."

Valerie could have jumped up to the sound of that voice. She stared at the black haired man with her mouth a little open. _What a damn powerful voice_.

"Even though the '_madman_' believed in his victory and in his eternal life, he left his ground prepared to any situation. He left an heir".

"Oh, I see. Right when you thought everything was over, the motherfucker dead, someone else showed up to try and keep it going", Valerie said to the velvet voiced man and looked again at Hermione, "Kinda like neo-Nazi lunatics".

"Exactly", Hermione answered and looked at the two men "I told you she understands things quickly".

"Yep, I do, but not everything. I still don't know why you are here. No offense, honey, I'm very happy to see you, but what do I have to do with this?"

"The thing is, Val… I was one of the responsible for Voldemort's death, the 'end' of his cause, the imprisonment of so many people… Along with the main responsible for that, my friend Happy Potter, I am among the three main targets of this neo-Voldemort movement. Professor Snape is too, and I promise I will tell you every single detail about this war, it's just too much to say now. But in the present, this is the situation: they want to get to me."

"Oh no, baby, you're in danger all over again. Can't you just hide?"

"I could, and that's partially what I'm doing, as well as the other Order members. But there's more to it", she continued ignoring the doubt look on Valerie's face by the mention of 'the Order', "We're not the only ones in danger".

Valerie looked into Hermione's eyes for a few seconds, glanced at Bill and Snape and looked at her again before speaking "Hermione, why am _I_ in danger?"

The young woman looked nervous and tried to look for words, but it was that rich deep voice that explained "They found out Miss Granger's family history and all about you, Miss Cooper, and they have solid plans to catch and imprison you to make Miss Granger and her friends go and try to rescue you".

"Which we obviously would do, and they know that. They want to kidnap you, Valerie, and that's why we are here… Before them".

Valerie stood in silence, chewing the inside of her lips, eyes a little too open, staring at the three people for a few moments before finding her voice again. "Well, that's not good", she said matter-of-factedly

"Not at all, Val", said Hermione, "They are vicious people, truly dangerous, and we could not know about this plan and do nothing. You're gonna have to come with us into hiding".

"I'm gonna have to do into hiding?", Valerie repeated incredulously before getting up from the couch and pacing behind it "So suddenly I find out that a bunch of lunatics from the other side of the ocean want to catch me to make my baby cousin try to rescue me so they can get finally to kill her and because of that I have to hide God knows until when leaving my whole life, by work, my friends, my boyfriend, the community, just say bye-bye to the children e fly away and oh my God!"

Hermione got up from the chair and stood in front of Valerie "Val, breathe, calm down. I know it's horrible, but this is so much better than if we didn't know. We can protect you and it probably won't be for that long. The current problem is still at the beginning and we do have a good advantage. Before you know things might be over and you'll be back. But for now, please Val, listen to us. Nothing will work out if you're caught or killed. Please."

Taking a deep breath, Valerie nodded and let Hermione take her back to the couch, where she sat by her side.

"How…" Valerie started again "How do you know their plans?"

"We have information from the inside of this new organization", Bill Weasley answered "Someone we know we can trust. He told us they chose you for being the most… Vulnerable person available."

"I'm vulnerable", Valerie said calmly

"Yes", Hermione answered, "You're a muggle. _And_ you are my cousin".

Valerie swallowed painfully looking down at her lap, regaining control over herself. Her unlikely visitors just sat in silence respecting that they had just thrown a bomb into her arms and that she needed time. Without looking at no one, she leaned to the coffee table, filled a glass with water and drank it down on one breath. Resting the glass once again, she finally found her voice one more time.

"I can't leave straight away. I have an important work going on, and if I disappear out of thin air people will get suspicious. Besides, if the bad guys get here to take me and find out that I just left, they won't think it's just a coincidence. They will know that you people knew about it somehow and that there might be a traitor among them. I have to come up with a story and have some time to organize it and then it will be believable".

"How long do you think you're gonna need?", Hermione asked

"Well, I guess it doesn't depend just on me. When are the neo-Nazi gonna come for me?"

The red haired wizard answered "Sometime in the beginning of next month. That gives us about three weeks, not more than that".

"Ok. I'll think about something."

"In the meantime,", the velvet voiced man spoke up "You can't remain unprotected. The Order had already decide on your _guard_.", he said ever frowning, one leg crossed over the other knee and his fingertips held together in front of him, "We will stay in rounds, constantly, until you have it all prepared to go with us."

"You're staying?", Valerie asked looking at Severus Snape

"Yes", he said in a not-so pleased tone

"Are you, Mione?"

"I cannot.", she answered with an apologetic look on her face, "They gave me other duties there, and only the Advanced Guards from the Order take care of that kind of business".

Valerie tried to asked something about this last statement, but preferred to close her eyes and shake her head rapidly saying "I'm not even gonna ask".

"I know it's too much information", said Hermione "I'll fill acquaint you with all the details when you get to London with us. Until then, please be calm and focus on creating this story for you future absence. I'll be there when you arrive and you'll see, everything is gonna be fine", she said taking Valerie's hand in hers.

During the rest of the afternoon, Hermione and Valerie tried to catch up a little with each other, while the two men sat patiently at a distance. Bill would look curiously through the window, at the people in the patio two stores down, kids riding bikes, old ladies sitting together at benches, cars passing by at a distance, or curiously looking at the home appliances, refrigerator, microwave, and coffee machine. Severus preferred to sit in a chair by the door a burry his nose on a book. By the evening, Hermione helped her older cousin prepare dinner, something simple, and the four of them sat together to eat, mostly in silence. Valerie felt better now, the news sinking slowly in and a few ideas already passing through her mind.

After dinner, Hermione announced that she had to go back to London. Her part there was done. Bill Weasley would be taking her, for she was somewhat insecure to Apparate from such a long distance, and Professor Snape would remain at the apartment to take over the first round of vigilance. Uncomfortable with the chosen words to describe the situation, Valerie hugged Hermione tightly, shook hands with Bill and thanked them. Hermione held Bill's arm and they swirled on their spot before disappearing. Valerie blinked confused for a few moments.

"I guess I should get used to see that kind of things", she said to herself in the living room.

The black haired man with the magnificent voice was sitting again in the same chair, the book open and looking at Valerie. He lowered the book a few inches when the said "Carry on with your things and don't mind me. I'll be here all night".

Valerie stared at him for a moment, half expecting him to say or do something. That was a strange fellow. She entered the kitchen in silence and did the dishes, trying to think rationally about her day. Knowing about the magical world her cousin had been living in for the last eight years was one thing; being involved in it, having her life protected by witches and wizards and having a dark, strange, weirdly handsome wizard standing in her living room for her protection, well that was an entire different thing. Severus Snape was in the exact same position when she left the kitchen and went directly to her bedroom. A moment later she returned with a pillow and a bed sheet in hands.

"I only have one bedroom", she said placing them on the couch, "so I hope you'll be comfortable here."

The man looked at her from above the book for a second before returning to it "I don't have any intention to sleep".

"Ever?" she said giggling

He frowned and didn't answer, looking again at the book.

"All right, then, very nice talking to you. G'night."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It was a long night. Valerie spent hours thinking about this new reality that had been thrown on her face. She trusted Hermione, she knew how serious and responsible she was since she was a toddler, and really believed that, if she said that there was danger around, so there was. One good reason to lose sleep. What if those crazy, bad people decided to go and take her sooner than planned? What if this contact they had was wrong about the timing? And if they did it, would the lone man sitting in her apartment be enough to protect her? She didn't know him, and Hermione had called him 'professor'. Would a school teacher be enough to fight dark wizards?

And well, there was a strange man on the other side of the door. Hermione had trusted him to be there with her, but she knew nothing about him. The apartment was dead silent, as if he wasn't even there. Around three in the morning she gave up on falling asleep, deciding that she would try to make the man talk. It would not be unpleasant at all to listen a little more of that delicious voice.

The living room was dark except for the lights of the street below. Severus Snape was standing by the window, hands behind his back, and Valerie couldn't help but thinking that he looked like a vampire stalking in the dark. '_Mental note to ask him if vampires actually exist'. _She stood at her doorframe, hands up trying to hold her unruly hair in a pin. The man turned his head slightly to look at her just for a second, and looked back at the window.

"Hey", she said entering the room, receiving only a grunt as a response. Rolling her eyes she passed behind him and entered the kitchen, where she filled and turned on the coffee machine before sitting in a bench by the kitchen counter. The book she was reading was resting there and she opened it, but didn't start to read. She saw the pillow and sheet she had brought him still folded where she had left them on the couch.

"So you really meant it when you said you wouldn't sleep".

"I mean everything I say".

"Is it really necessary? Do you expect someone to attack me in the middle of the night?"

"My duty here is to be prepared for any circumstance. This is what is expected from me."

"You guys said they won't come for at least another three weeks. I am grateful for the protection you're providing me, don't take me wrong, I appreciate it, but I don't think you have to either be awake all night or to be all quiet and frowning."

She got up from the bench, leaving her book, and entered the kitchen again to turn off the machine.

"I take you cousin did not say anything about me, then. I happen to be the same person around anyone. I'm not acting differently around you for any reason, I assure you."

"I remember your name", Valerie said resting two mugs on the counter top "She said her Potions teacher was brilliant"

The sulky man turned to look at her, a tiny trace of surprise on his face

"Didn't see that coming?" she asked smiling "Here, have a coffee".

"No, thank you", he said looking again outside the window

"Oh, come on now", she took a mug and moved towards him "If you're gonna be up, at least have some caffeine."

"And what are you doing up, may I ask?", the man said not denying the coffee mug

"Eh, I never really sleep much anyway. Especially tonight"

She sat at the counter with her coffee and started reading her book. Minutes passed in complete silence before she finally heard some movement.

"_Pedagogy of the Oppressed_", he read the book title moving closer to her on the other side of the counter. "Why would you be interested in pedagogy?"

"Because I'm a teacher", she answered still gazing at the book

"You're a teacher". It was more an affirmation than a question.

"Yes", she looked at him, "You didn't know? You came to stay with me for a few weeks without knowing anything about me. Well, that puts us in the same place, doesn't it?"

"Whatever you mean?"

"You know nothing about me, I know nothing about you".

Passing by her and entering the kitchen, he filled his mug with more coffee. Looking at him sideways, she smirked and returned to her book before he could notice.

"What is your specialty?", he asked returning to the living room and sitting across Valerie. She understood that entering subtly a topic of his interest was just the right way to get to him.

"Well, I don't really have one", she answered and he raised an eyebrow. "I work at a social project, where children and teenagers go to have other classes and recreation after school. Keeps them out of the streets. Adults have professional training courses as well, so I teach a variety of classes. You teach Potions, right?"

"Not anymore. I'm no longer a professor".

"Hermione called-"

"-Miss Granger has been warned not to address me as 'professor' anymore. Apparently old habits _do_ die hard"

"I see. What happened?"

"I nearly died from a snake bite after convincing the whole wizarding world that I was a sadistic lunatic", he said at once "and I do not wish to talk about that".

"Oh. All right. And what do you do now?"

"Now I babysit on muggles in danger".

"Ha-ha", she said forcing herself not to be offended "That can't be all."

"It actually is. Our healer insists and convinced the Order that I am not yet in my full health and that I should not be assigned to any difficult or dangerous task".

"Ah, so you see, this mission is not difficult or dangerous, then. You _can_ sleep."

"And for the same reason, so can you. And yet we're both awake".

"Well, it's not that simple for me. I have to leave my whole life behind and create an excuse to disappear without raising any suspicion. I don't know what I'm gonna do", she said resting an elbow on the counter and her forehead in her hand, "The organization, the classes…I coordinate the project, I'm responsible for its operation, I'm not sure what they're gonna do when I leave. I have to choose someone to take my place and my classes, and make them believe whatever reason I'm gonna give to just scram".

"Have you thought on the reason yet?"

"Yes. I'll probably just say it's my health. I'll take a sabbatical to go through a treatment. It won't give room for too many questions".

"You have to be more believable. People do ask about health conditions, if you don't have any-"

"Oh, I do have it."

"You do", he affirmed again, "And what is it, may I ask?"

"Well, if you had asked my cousin some basic information about me previously, you'd know that I have a neurological disorder and I suffer from some severe symptoms". When the man in front of her remained silent and took another sip of coffee, she concluded "So I'll tell them that it's gotten worse and that I need to depart for a while".

She took the book again and resumed reading. She knew that talking about her medical condition was slightly uncomfortable to people who didn't understand it, so she preferred not to talk about it. It was good to have made him just talk for a while, she didn't need to force him to any awkward situation now.

"And no," he started suddenly "I did not come to _stay with out for a few weeks_. I take the night rounds. Somebody else will come in the morning to accompany you during the day".

"Wait up, what's that? _Accompany_ me?"

"Obviously", she said slowly, "You're going to have to go on with your day to resolve your issues and the Order won't leave you unattended".

"I know that. I just hadn't really thought about it. I'm gonna have to take someone with-"

"-You won't _take_ someone, Miss Cooper", he said faintly patient pinching the bridge of this nose, eyes closed "You, or anybody else, won't even see or notice your _guard_. He can't be seen, in case someone is watching you. You don't have to worry about that, let the order take care of those issues".

"Let the grownups take care of it, little child", she said closing her book and standing up "You don't have to be condescending. I know I have no knowledge in magic, but I do have brains. You have to agree that you guys just came here, dropped the bomb and didn't really explain a lot to me about the plans, so I do have doubts and I won't hide them".

"You are already doing your part in this, Miss Cooper, by giving a reason to leave and avoid suspicions. You think it's not important? When the Death Eaters come and find out you're not here anymore, they will investigate, they will ask questions, and people are going to have to give them believable information. If they distrust it, they might consider the possibility that the Order was here and took you, and that would bring down our spy, therefore our best chance to win this one more _damn_ battle. It that condescending to you? You have enough to think about and to sort out, so yes, Miss Cooper, let the Order take care of other business."

She sat down again when he got up and went back to the window. He had snapped at her for the tiniest misplaced comment, but she could see reason in what he'd said. She just wished her work would be in good hands and that everything would be over soon so she could come back. But then, she knew there was no way of knowing for how long she'd have to be gone. _Edward_… Valerie had been dating this guy for about two months now, after a long time being single, and he was an amazingly great guy. She couldn't believe her luck, but then life had turned around and bit her in the ass. She would leave and couldn't possibly expect that Edward would wait for her for God knows how long.

The rest of the night was complete silent. Snape sat down again and resumed his reading, while Valerie finished her book. When the morning came, she prepared more plain coffee and silently gave a mug to Severus before returning to the kitchen and starting preparing breakfast. They sat together at the small table near the window in the living room and companionably ate eggs with bacon and pancakes. Severus kept taking his pocket watch out to check the hours, and by the time he did it for the fourth time, she adventured to ask is there was anything wrong.

"He is late." He answered harshly, "It's seven o´clock".

"And who is 'he'?"

"The same Weasley you've met yesterday."

"Is there more than one?" She asked smiling

"There are a million of them."

Before she could ask anything else, a loud bang came from the window beside her and she got up so quickly she was standing by the door within a second, hand in her hearth. Severus thought he could have laughed at her, but seeing the owl standing on the other side of the window with a note attached to its leg guaranteed him something was not right. He got up and opened the window, took the parchment and gave the owl a piece of bacon before it flew again.

"Good Lord!", Valerie said coming closer again. "If Dark Wizards don't kill me, owls knocking on my window will!"

He wasn't listening. His frowning got even deeper and he looked dangerously angry when he threw the parchment to her. The note said that something had come up and Bill Wesley would not be available to take his round guarding Valerie and that if Severus didn't mind or had any other appointments, he was being requested to stay full-time with Valerie until the time they could leave to London. It was signed by _Minerva McGonagall_. She looked up from the parchment and saw him pacing in the living room, mumbling something under his breath.

"Not very kind of her to ask this in such a short notice." She paused. "Or no notice at all".

"Obviously it has become common sense that I won't have anything else do to other than follow their orders. I have probably allowed them to think like that, being available too many times in the past." He stopped pacing apparently realizing what he was saying. "That is it then, Miss Cooper; if you don't mind I'll be staying with you and accompanying you." He said bitterly moving back to the table and dropping in his chair

"As if I had any choice in this. Anybody could come and go and make rounds and accompany me, I'd have to be fine with it. Order business, right, I have nothing to do with it."

"You might as well just cope with it. Now get on with your day and let me do my job".

"It's Sunday, I don't have to work today. I'll just clean the apartment. You can just stay out of the way", she said entering the kitchen

"Excuse me?", he said in a louder voice, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, was I rude? I was thinking you were the clumsy one."

"Miss Cooper-"

"-I just want you to understand, _Mr. Snape_, that you're being extremely coarse with me and I do not care for that. I see no reason for that whatsoever, and I won't just listen to it quietly. As I told you before, I understand that it is important that you're here; I know you're here to help me and I do appreciate it, but you know very well that I did not ask for that. I didn't ask for any of this to be happening, and I certainly did not ask for you to stay. If you're so displeased, answer to McGonagall saying you can't stay. I'm not asking you to do this, I'm very ok with you staying, but I do not wish to be spited on like this".

She didn't wait for an answer, and for the little she had learned from that man, it would not be pleasant anyway. She started her duties in the kitchen and didn't care to see what he was doing. When the kitchen was thoroughly clean, she moved to the small bathroom and later to her bedroom. When she was in there with the noisy vacuum cleaner on, she started to feel a delicious smell of food and damned her neighbor for that. She was already hungry and the smell was not helping her a lot. Minutes later when she finished that part of the apartment, she noticed that the smell came from her own kitchen. Snape was there and when he turned to place a bowl on the counter, he saw her. It was not nearly a pleasant view as it had been the day before. She was throughout sweating; her hair was as mess, still tied in a pin but now with a massive amount of locks falling around her face, her t-shirt had a big stain of some sort of product; she was wearing a white short and was barefoot.

"If you want to go wash up, lunch is ready", he said after taking a good look at her

Baffled, she turned around and entered the bathroom, her stomach growling in anticipation. She left in her bathrobes and entered her room after a quick shower, dressed hurriedly and returned to the kitchen. Lunch was served on the counter and smelled incredible.

"How did you do this?", she asked sitting on a bench

"Amazingly it does not require magic to prepare some food, Miss Cooper, I think you are aware of that".

"Of course, I can cook as well. I just didn't know I had all of this at home!"

"I just had to be creative. You actually had enough to work on".

"It smells great. Thank you, I'm starving".

He didn't answer, but Valerie could notice a faint smile on his lips before he started eating. They ate in silence and she refilled her plate after finishing. If he was going to cook the meals while he was there, that stay would not be unpleasant at all.

In the afternoon she finished cleaning the living room and Snape did the dishes and placed the rest of the food in the refrigerator. A low music started playing in the apartment and Valerie took a few moments to understand it, and then ran to her purse to take the cell phone, a blue Nokia. Severus looked curiously at her as she pressed a button and started speaking. He had heard about this somewhat new muggle technology, but hadn't seen anybody using it before. He tried not to eavesdrop and went back to the kitchen. When he returned to the living room, Valerie was sitting on the couch, looking intensely at the turned off tv.

"Is there anything wrong?" he asked

"It… It was Edward," she said and looked at him "my boyfriend. He wants to see me today."

"What was your answer to that?" he said as he sat down in '_his_' chair

"I told him to come. He'll be here in an hour".

He glared at her for a few moments. "And how is that supposed to work? You expect me to introduce myself and then keep quiet in the living room while you-"

"-I'm breaking up with him."

Snape didn't say anything; he just kept looking at her. Valerie fixed her eyes again on the tv, her mind miles away. This decision was sudden. When he called her, sweet and loving as usual, she knew that it would be a very hard thing to do, but she had no other choice. Perhaps when she moved back, if he was still available, they could have another chance. The timing couldn't be more wrong. Now, if she really had to do this, she might as well do it soon. Pull off the band aid; break their both hearts so it could maybe heal faster. Valerie told Snape that she would meet Edward downstairs, in the patio, where he could see her – and the surrounding area – from the window.

From above, he saw Valerie, now wearing something decent and not housecleaning garments, pace in front of a bench for a few minutes until a man walked towards her. He held his wand tightly, cursing himself for not asking how did this _Edward_ looked like. In a second he could tell it was him, though: Valerie reached up and hugged him tightly. He was a tall, strong, purposely bald, black man. They kissed for a long moment under Snape's distant gaze, and a strange and strong instinct nearly took his actions. He was there to protect her, and _this man_ was way too close. Nobody was supposed to touch her.

Valerie took his hand and they sat on the bench. For long minutes they just talked and Snape couldn't guess what was happening, they both barely moved. Suddenly the man got up, looking nervous, gesturing at her and Snape could tell he was yelling. Valerie didn't get up. She looked up at him, and by her body language, she as pleading. It took only a few more moments for Edward to storm out, walking fast away from her, not looking back. Valerie hid her face in her hands. She stood there, alone, the image of desolation, before she got up and walked slowly towards the building. _'It's for the best, and she knows it.'_, he thought, but the strange feeling he had before remained, now a little confused with some relief.

Before he could think and analyze it, Valerie entered the apartment and he turned around to look at her. Red puffed eyes told him everything he needed to know. She dried her eyes with the back of her hands. "It's done. One last thing to worry about", she said with trembling voice and entered her bedroom, closing the door behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

By Monday morning Valerie requested a meeting with the other coordinators of the organization to inform them about the sabbatical she needed to take. She explained that her neurologist had advised her to stop, rest and do the treatment he was recommending, because for some reason she was getting worse on her neurological condition. It was not true, of course. She had been feeling the same as she had been for the last few years and her symptoms were now in a pattern. She knew how long the gaps between crises were and she could tell minutes before when one of them was coming. To her colleagues, though, she had to lie. She had lied to Edward, now she was lying to her friends. That hurt. She hated lies and used to tell as less as she could, but she had enough reason for that. People had to really believe that story so they would be convincing if – or when – the wizards came looking for her.

They were all worried about her. Obviously nobody had noticed anything wrong with her health, and they were shocked by the news. Patiently and amazed by how convincing her lie was turning out to be, she explained everything and got to the part where they needed to choose who would take her place and her classes. The meeting went on for the entire morning and lunch time, and some of her colleagues had volunteered themselves to take her post. Volunteered was a very accurate word: the position barely had any salary. She now knew who was willing to take it, and her decision had to be made. She promised to call another meeting in one or two days to inform them and to allocate the teaching posts.

She went to lunch with three of her girlfriends and hurried to her afternoon classes. Valerie hadn't seen her protector at any moment, but he had guaranteed her that he would be there and that she was safe. For some odd reason, she had completely believed him. When her last class of the day was over, about six in the afternoon, she walked to a market where she brought food for the week and headed home. The plastic packs she was carrying where really heavy, but in a few moments she realized the weight was decreasing somehow, and the pressure of the plastic in her hands were now almost zero. It felt like the packs were simply floating under her hold and now, for the first time in the day, she was absolutely aware of _his_ presence.

Two days later she called the meeting and informed that she had chosen Martin Smith to take her place as head of the organization. He was very pleased with her trust and promised that he'd do his best and by the time she could come back; the position would still be hers. For the rest of the meeting they all discussed her classes and, by lunchtime, this matter was resolved, actually much earlier that she had thought. All she had to do now was to sublet her apartment and prepare to flee. _And maybe get some sleep_, she thought yawning when she was walking to her first class. It had been four days now and she hadn't been able to sleep a wink, and she was now exhausted. Snape had decided to accept the couch and, for what Valerie had observed, would sleep tightly until the morning. She wished she could do so as well, but had no actual hope that that would happen any time soon.

When she finally called it a day, she knew Severus was following her, silent and invisible. He entered the apartment a few moments later and found Valerie sitting on the couch, her purse thrown carelessly on the floor, face hidden in her hands. Snape stood by the door for a few moments after warding it, looking at her. She was shrunken, elbows on her knees, rocking herself slowly. Snape thought she looked small and fragile.

"Are you ok?", he asked after a few moments

Slowly she raised her head, staring at nowhere. "I'm exhausted…", she said quietly

Snape moved closer to her and sat on the other side of the couch. "When was the last time you slept? I know you wander around the house when you should be asleep."

"Sorry, didn't mean to bother you."

"Not at all. When was the last time you slept?", he asked again

Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, she closed her eyes and answered "About four days ago…"

"I could have imagined that much", Snape said, "since that's when things turned upside down for you".

"Yes…", she breathed, "That's not all, actually."

"Mind to share?"

"Well… It's complicated and I won't bore you with a long story. Let's just say that… I have issues".

Severus snorted a laugh, "Who doesn't?"

"Yeah, I know… But at least you can sleep at night."

"Not for too long, I don't. Probably got used to too many years sleep deprived."

Valerie smiled shyly at him and got up, "I'm gonna order something for dinner. You've been cooking every day".

Later that night, Valerie gave up once again. Her body was completely exhausted, her muscles felt shattered, her mind was starting to blurry, her eyes burned as if they were filled with sand, and she felt like crying. Her heart was pounding and she felt her throat closed in distress.

Snape was by the kitchen counter. He was barefoot, wearing pajama bottoms and an old t-shirt. Valerie, even in her sleepless anguish, noticed that she hadn't sill seen him out of formal robes. Even in the heat of that summer, he was always at least in his black trousers and long sleeved shirt, and she wondered if he used some kind of spell or so to keep himself from sweating to death. Now he was completely informal and looking relaxed. On the counter in front of him rested two steaming mugs and he was mixing one of them with a spoon.

"Sit down", he said pointing to a bench with his eyebrows. Valerie obeyed with no question; she felt just too jaded to say anything. He moved to the living room where he took a small vial from a wooden box on the coffee table, returning again to stand across Valerie. He opened the vial and poured three drops of the water-looking content into one of the mugs. Sliding it no her, he said "Drink it."

"What's that?" She asked and was surprised by how weak her voice sounded.

"Sleeping Draught," he answered, pouring only one drop into his own mug, "you need it".

"A potion?", she asked and he nodded, "I don't know… The problem is not… Rather physical. It's… Completely psychological."

"I am aware of that", he said firmly. "The potion will work wherever it's needed in your body, physical or mental". Watching her gaze into the mug, he carried on, "I know how it feels to be sleep deprived for so many days. It's been five days now and it is too much for anybody, whatever the cause is".

She stared at the mug for a few more moments before looking at him. He saw her eyes were swollen and red; dark circles under them, and heard her say very quietly, "I am afraid of sleeping".

He took a few seconds to understand her words. "What are you afraid of?"

"Nothing. I know nothing bad will happen, this is… So irrational. So irrational… I never could… Not just now… Never."

"Valerie", he addressed her by the first name and her eyes seemed to focus a little more on him and he said very firmly, "you're not making any sense. Say it again".

"-with a man inside my house".

A single tear escaped her eye and fell down her cheek, but she seemed not to notice, looking down at the mug in her hands again. Severus stared at her for long moments. "Valerie, what happened the last time there was a man sleeping in your house?"

She didn't answer, still looking down, and Severus took a deep, hard breath, understanding now. He exhaled slowly, holding himself to not ask any more questions, a sort of revulsion suddenly invading him. When he looked at her again, more tears had fallen, but she wasn't crying aloud.

"It's irrational", she finally said. "I know it is. But I have no control over it", she looked at him behind glassy eyes, "It's not anything with you, it's not personal. I can't help it."

"Valerie, if you know it's irrational and you know that nothing bad will happen with you, then please drink it. I was sent here for your protection."

She looked at him for a long time, expressionless and completely out of control of her own tears. Finally she blinked and looked again at the mug before taking a sip. It was simply warm chocolate milk and the potion was tasteless. Severus started drinking his own as well, he was also tired. They drank in silence. Between gulps she tried to dry her face with the back of her hands. When they were done, she blinked heavily.

"Well, that's a damn quick effect".

"Yes. I suggest you go to bed now or you'll fall asleep on the counter".

She got up like a very drunken person, nearly falling from the bench. Severus got up and held her by the elbow, taking her to the bedroom. She let her go by the door and watched carefully until she dropped heavily on the bed, having time only to straighten her pillow before falling asleep. Satisfied, Severus closed the door and lay on the couch, falling asleep shortly later.

The next day found Valerie strangely smiling for being late for work. She had slept amazingly well and woke up feeling new. She hurried without having breakfast, smiling a thank you to Snape, who was behind a big mug of coffee and had to hurry after her. While walking for the few blocks between her apartment and work, she nearly jumped on the spot when Snape's voice whispered very close to her right ear.

"I see one single night's sleep did you well."

Recovering and smiling quietly to herself, she looked around before whispering back, "Indeed. You could make millions by selling potions like that".

"Believe me when I say I have thought about that", he said and Valerie could imagine that he was smiling, even though she had never really seen him do such a thing, "but I prefer not to reveal my world's secret".

"Well, but I know that secret, and I am a muggle".

"Consider yourself one of the few privileged ones who do".

For the few days when Snape had been watching Valerie over, he got used to her time table; meetings with staff, students and whoever needed her in the mornings, classed in the afternoon. She would teach music to children and teenagers, various musicals instruments and singing, and from time to time someone would go to her and talk about different subjects. Her days where always busy and she would stop only to have lunch, heading back home when it was already dark. That day, though, she didn't seem to follow that routine. Right after lunch, when she ate alone in a cafeteria, she sat for long minutes staring at nowhere, her face inexpressive. Then she suddenly rose and started walking towards the street, and not towards the building as she always did. Snape could see she was hurrying, grabbing her purse and looking resolute. He hurried after her, his long strides following her easily.

"What is going on?", he asked again by her ear

"I believe you`re about to see for yourself what is going on in a few minutes", she managed to reply. "Oh, no"

She was now looking at the man on the sidewalk moving on her direction. Snape recognized the man he saw talking to Valerie from her apartment window.

"Val?", he asked still from a distance. "Shouldn't you be in class?"

"I can't teach right now, I have to go home", she said reaching him and walking past. Edward followed her immediately.

"I'm coming with you", he said and Snape thought he sounded worried

"No, you don't have to do it anymore. I'll be fine".

"I don't care if I don't have to. I can't leave you alone during-"

They arrived in front of her building and she suddenly stopped, "Damn. Ed… If you insist… Then I need… Now."

He didn't seem to think anymore. Snape saw the man act fast and grab Valerie in his arms. He reached instinctively for his wand, but didn't aim, and followed Edward upstairs, easily caring a very quiet Valerie.

"Val, your keys… Can you still take-"

He didn't finish his sentence. Valery suddenly twitched on his arms and he lowered her to the floor. Snape was still on the stairs and froze seeing him put her in a comfortable position, hold her head and tenderly turn it to one side, and then sitting by her side.

"Shhh… It's okay, relax, you're gonna be fine".

Valerie twitched again and this time she didn't stop. Snape saw her beautiful blue eyes turn up until he could almost only see its whites, thrashing nonstop on the floor. Snape understood what was happening, she had told him about her neurological problems, and he had been on that place himself years before during the war, although only once and after being severely cursed. All the same, he felt paralyzed. Edward was by her side, looking nervous but standing by her, keeping her head in the right position, whispering encouragement words, even though he probably knew she wasn't listening, and at the same time looking inside her purse, until he found her keys and stood to unlock the door. He left it open and sat again by Valerie`s side. He looked again on her purse for a handkerchief when, at the same instant as Snape, noticed a thing line of blood escape from her lips. He kept cleaning it but the bleeding didn't stop. Her arms were taut in front of her, her fists tightly closed. They both could hear her voice now, moaning incoherently and in anguish.

After about five minutes, that actually felt like hours, the spasms subsided slowly until she was quiet again. Edward tried to clean the blood from her face once again.

"It's okay, Val, you're all right now. It's over. Can you hear me?"

She was now breathing very heavily. Snape dared to come a few steps closer to watcher her. She had closed her eyes and would be breathless for a few seconds before recovering it, very loudly.

"All right, you're good", Edwards said, "Imma take you inside before you come back."

He got her in his arms again and she made a snarl sound in protest. Inside and followed closely by an invisible Snape, he lied her down on the couch, her head resting on the folded blanket Snape used at night. Edward closed the door and sat on the coffee table, now silent and watching her. For a few more minutes she was still breathing heavily, opened and closed her eyes a few times, until she started calming down. Edward cleaned her mouth again with the handkerchief.

"Can you hear me?", he asked and she moaned something in response. "How do you feel?". Suddenly, Valerie tried to get up and Edward held her. She looked around with confused eyes. "No, no, stay down. You're fine. Just calm down."

For a few more instants she tried to get up and to make him stop touching her, looking extremely uncomfortable. When she calmed down, Edward asked her again how she felt and, finally, she was able to mutter the word "tired".

"I know. Do you know what just happened?"

"No…"

"You had a seizure."

"Did I?"

"You did. But you're fine now. It's okay."

After a few more seconds with her eyes closed, she spoke again, "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry, it's okay."

She seemed to sleep after that. Edward kept watching her for a while, until he got up and let go the breath he seemed to be holding. He looked around for the first time now, noticing the blanket and pillow on the couch, beneath her head. He frowned.

"Valerie? Are you awake?"

In response she could only wail, eyes shut closed. Edward came close to her again, crouching beside her head. "You're fine now. Just sleep, you'll feel better when you wake up. I need to go to work. Can you hear me? I'll call you later to check up on you."

He hesitated to leave and Snape, as grateful as he was to see him take care of her, wished he would just go already so he could show up and check on her himself. After a moment he left, closing the door behind him, and Snape warded it immediately, ending the disillusionment charm and moving quickly towards the couch. He made a few movements with his want above her body, mainly her head, and verified that the seizure was really over now, but the aftermath would go on for a few hours. She was unconscious now, in a deep exhausted sleep, and he moved her with another wand movement to her bed.

There was nothing he could do now, except for wait and go to her bedside every few minutes to check on her. He sat on the couch, tense, feeling completely useless. He had been sent there to watch her and make sure that no former-Death-Eaters would attack and take her. Although it seemed a very simple job for they were not expecting any of them to come for at least one more week, he knew a lot more depended on that. If they got her, it was not only her personal safety that would be endangered. The dark wizards knew Hermione Granger and her friends all too well, and they knew nothing would stop them from trying to rescue her, and taking them down could be easy if they acted hastily. They were now the most important people on the Order, and he knew very well about his own importance, but the Golden Trio was the pillar, the symbol of their victory a year ago, and losing them would make the entire group morally week. Without asking for it or even really being aware of it, Valery was now a very important piece on this new phase of the war.

Snape knew all of that, and he was doing the only job that he could now. He was still, even after a year, recovering from his near death at the final battle. He was feeling stronger now, but for a long time he felt his magic week, fighting to come fully back, and it used to drain his energy and make him useless for anything else. He trusted, as well as the Order, that now he was well enough to help Valerie in case of need and call for help. But what he had not counted on was the fact that she would need more help that just being watched. She had some serious psychological problems, it was clear by the fact that she couldn't sleep with company in her house, and now this situation he had just witnessed. By day she seemed strong, happy, determined, she worked to help other people caring little about herself, but now he had seen her weakness. It was clear that she had a history behind her, something that would explain those problems, and Severus couldn't seem to understand why he cared.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

It was past dinner time when Valerie woke up. Snape had been waiting and reading a book for all those hours, somewhat enjoying not needing to be out invisible and following a girl's every step. He had left her bedroom door open and heard movement in there. Valerie was sitting quietly on the bed.

"Welcome back", he said by the doorframe and she didn't look at him. "How do you feel?"

She took a few seconds to answer, still looking down. "Did you see it?"

He noticed that she sounded weird, as if having some trouble to speak. "Of course."

"I didn't… I'm sorry, I hoped you wouldn't get to see any of those."

"You have nothing to be sorry about. How do you feel?", he repeated

"I'm okay… Just a little dizzy, but that's normal. And my tongue… I think I bit it."

"Yes, there was blood. I can help you with that, if you wish."

"How?"

"A simple spell can heal the wound, if you'd let me."

"Sure. It's swollen and hurts", she said getting up. Snape saw her tired face, but was relieved to see that she could now talk and stand up.

He took his wand and came close to her, asked her to open her mouth and make some quick movements. In a few seconds she felt no pain, and when she spoke again, she sounded normal.

"Thank you…", she looked away from him and walked out the room. When he followed her, she asked, "Did I see Edward?"

"Yes", he said sitting back on his chair, "He met you outside just before it happened and took you home."

"Did he stay during the seizure?"

"All the time", Snape answered now looking again at his book, although he didn't start reading.

"Crap."

He looked at her, who was sitting on the counter bench, and raised an eyebrow. "_Crap_?"

"Yeah, I just broke up with him and he keeps helping me. It's not fair."

"He didn't seem to care. But all the same, he left you alone right after it"

"Oh, it's okay… He probably knew it was over and that there was nothing else he could do once I was asleep. He got pretty used to it."

Snape lowered his book, "How often does it happen?"

"Every four or five weeks, it's virtually under control now with the medication. I used to have it every week for a while until my doctor found the right combination of drugs. I think it's as good as it can get now."

Snape didn't answer and Valerie got into the kitchen. As a Potions Master he had some knowledge in human health, but not deep enough to understand her problem. He only knew that some diseases had no cure even in the magical world, like cancer and epilepsy, but they were controllable with the right potions to each case. Snape made a mental note to think about it later. Maybe he could try something, although she seemed to be doing just fine with the muggle drugs.

His thoughts were interrupted by the music of her cell phone ringing inside her purse. She left the kitchen with a glass of milk and looked for it, answering right away. Snape tried to focus on his reading again, but couldn't help but listening to her side of the conversation.

"Hey Ed – I'm okay, I just woke up. – Just dizzy as usual. – Yeah, I bit it… But it's fine. – Hey, thank you… For being with me. – You didn't have to. – No, you didn't, Ed. It was very kind. – Ed… You don't have to do it anymore. We don't… – I can deal with it. – I'll be away for a long time, I'll have people watching over for me. – You know I can take care of myself. – Yes, I can. It happened loads of times when I was alone at home. – Listen, I am very grateful for how kind you were to me all this time, for how you learned how to deal with it, and even more for today, really, I appreciate that, but I really can take care of myself. – That's not what I mean. – I can't depend on no one, Edward! I just can't, you were great while we were together, but I don't need you, I can't need you or anyone. – You should know that's not what I mean. – I thought you would understand. You know how I never depended on anyone my whole life, I wouldn't change now. – It was two months, Edward, I've been epileptic for about thirty years, and I think I can handle it. – I already told you how grateful I am for the times you've helped me, and for today, I really am, bit I need you to understand… - My couch? What do you… - There's nobody sleeping on my couch. – It's just a blanket, what does it have to do with… – Edward, you don't sound like yourself. I don't think I can keep having this conversation, you know how tired I am right now. – No, don't. Don't come over. – We don't have anything else to talk about. – Thank you for everything and… Goodbye."

The apartment was silent for a really long time after she hung up. Snape didn't look up from the book, that had been a very private conversation, but the apartment was too small for him to move away. When he finally looked at her, she was sitting on the couch across the room, lost in thought.

"Where are we staying?", she asked

"In a safe house where some members of the Order are currently living in."

"When can we go?"

"At any moment."

"How are we going?"

"Via Portkey."

"What's that?"

"Magic"

She fell silent once again and spoke after a few minutes. "I don't think I have anything else to do here. We're going as soon as I find someone to keep the apartment."

With that, she got up and entered the bathroom for a shower.

For the rest of the week she packed her things in suitcases and cardboard boxes, and contacted everyone who had showed interest in renting her apartment. Some people went for a visit and Snape had to hide once again, keeping a very careful eye on them. She found someone quickly, arranged the price and was ready to go.

The last day of work came quickly and Valerie looked sad when she left home in the morning. She didn't speak much with Snape when they had breakfast and her mind seemed distant. In the morning staff meeting, she gave last minute instructions, but there was nothing much left to say. Snape saw her colleagues hug her affectionately and wish her the best, hoping she'd be back soon. Valerie carefully didn't say when she was coming back.

At the end of each class of the day her students said their goodbyes. Some girls cried and Valerie was on the verge of doing the same. After the last lesson, one of the students took her by the hand and walked her away without a word. Snape followed worriedly, wand in hand, but understood what was going on when they entered a big room where all her colleagues and lots of students and community members where waiting for a surprise farewell party. Valerie cried when the choir she had created and trained sang a farewell song for her.

After that they asked her to sing for them for the last time and the crowd stood in front of her when she sat in a chair with a guitar in hands. On a corner of the room, Snape watched her like the other ones. She chose a song about friendship he had never heard, even though he had some culture in muggle songs. In the silence of the room, all eyes were turned to her and Snape felt that even if he wanted or needed to look away, he couldn't.

_And I never thought I'd feel this way_

_And as far as I'm concerned_

_I'm glad I got the chance to say_

_That I do believe I love you_

_And if I should ever go away_

_Well, then close your eyes and try_

_To feel the way we do today_

_And then if you can remember_

_Keep smiling, keep shining_

_Knowing you can always count on me, for sure_

_That's what friends are for_

_For good times and bad times_

_I'll be on your side forever more_

_That's what friends are for_

_Well, you came in loving me_

_And now there's so much more I see_

_And so by the way_

_I thank you_

_Oh and then for the times when we're apart_

_Well, then close your eyes and know_

_these words are coming from my heart_

_and then if you can remember_

_Keep smiling and keep shining_

_Knowing you can always count on me, for sure_

_That's what friends are for_

_In good times and bad times_

_I'll be on your side forever more_

_That's what friends are for_

* * *

The living room was full of bags and boxes. Valerie had just closed the last one, checked on her purse for documents and money and was now staring at the pile. She had thrown away or donated a lot of things there were not of use anymore, and anyways there was a lot of things to take. By the window, cases of musical instruments – her guitar, violin, two different types of flutes – were by her clothes bags, the most important packs.

"Quick question", she said to Snape as he left the bathroom, "how are we supposed to take all of this if we are travelling with that Portkey thing?"

"Is everything there?", he asked in response

"Yep. That's all I have".

"Then let me", he said withdrawing his wand from a pocket Valerie didn't even see. He pointed at each of the boxes and they shrank to a match box's size. She gasped with the sight and he did the same with the suitcases and the instruments.

"That's how we take them", he said with a smirk.

Still amazed, Valerie went to the kitchen were a few empty shoe boxes were scattered to be thrown away later, and filled one of them with the tiny objects. Closing the box, she held it under her arm.

"Would you look at that. I'm carrying all my life under my arms in a shoe box!"

Snape smirked again, unable to stop himself, and looked around. "Are you ready to go?"

Valerie looked around as well. Everything was empty, her furniture looking now huge on the tiny space of her apartment. It looked very impersonal. Snape withdrew to the window and gave her some space. He knew how well she had understood that she might stay away for a very long time, most likely more than just the one year she had informed her friends, and probably that so many things could change in that time that she might not even come back at all.

"I bought this apartment when I was nineteen", she started after a while in silence. "I had been living for four years with the Grangers in Middlesbrough. I've been here for nearly thirteen years now. Never thought I'd rent it to someone else, I believe I'd just stay here until… Well, maybe forever. I know I might come back, but… I know I might not come back. Feels weird."

Silent again, she approached the window where Snape stood and looked outside. "It's thirteen years in this apartment, but I've actually been born in this housing. See that other block?", she asked pointing out. Snape looked at one of the other buildings. "The window on the fourth floor with the lights on, see?", she asked and he nodded, and Valerie lowered her hand, still looking at that window. "That's where we lived. My parents and I, I mean, before they… Before the Grangers got my custody". She took a deep breath and looked inside again, leaning against the parapet. "I don't even know why I bought my own apartment in this same housing. I could have gone anywhere, but instead I just came back to where it all happened".

Snape was silent, not understanding what she was talking about, but actually taking the hint. He looked at her and at the faraway window again. "What happened?" he asked after a while, feeling she was somehow open to tell things now. Maybe he could understand a little more about her.

She took a deep breath again and stared at the ceiling. "My father", she started and paused. "He was not a very kind man. He had the same sort of problem lots of people in this community have: drugs. I can't remember when it started, maybe it was even before I was born, 'cause I don't recall ever seeing him really in his mind. I feared him, tried to stay out of the was as most as possible. And she… My mother just wouldn't leave. She was not safe, her little daughter was not safe, but she wouldn't leave. I'd give my right arm to just understand that. I won't…", she paused again. "I don't wanna talk about the… Specifics. But it all came to a night when it was suddenly over. She was arguing with him about something, and he was enraged, completely out of his mind, and he… He had a gun. I was shot first, on my shoulder, and she just went mad and threw herself on him. It was the first and only time I have ever seen her defend me. I was down, almost passed out, but I saw her—", she took another deep breath and turned again to look outside the window, to the same point where Snape had been staring. "The neighbors heard it all and invaded the apartment; they stopped him before he could do anything else. It was too late, though. I passed out from shock and she was already gone."

They stood in silence for a long time. Snape felt his throat painfully closed and didn't have to try to understand the feeling. Her story… The familiarity on the story, save from a few small details, had taken him aback. He tried to say something for several times, until he mentally shouted at himself to get a grip and act like a man.

"There's something about our roots", he started, "that makes us come back. You didn't keep the same apartment, but you came back to where you can look at it through your window. You feel connected to your history, somehow, even if it is a history of suffering and darkness. Moving on is harder than most people believe it to be. Especially when there are still unanswered questions, why did it happen, what made my history go on like this, whose fault was it? Answers too hard and maybe impossible to answer keeps us close to where the doomed moment took place."

Valerie looked up at him as it she was seeing him for the first time. Snape knew she was looking but didn't take his eyes from the window.

"How?", she asked almost in a whisper

"I still live in my parent's house. Can't move away."

"What happened there?"

"I could repeat your story, a few details changed. It was alcohol instead of drugs. He shot himself when he realized what he had done. I was hiding on the basement."

He looked at her. She was gaping at him, her eyes wet, wordless.

"How old were you?", he asked

"Fifteen. You?"

"Sixteen."

They fell silent again, unsure of what to say next. Valerie felt her heart pound in her chest, her mouth dry. She didn't understand why she had started telling those things in the first place, but now she thought if there had been some kind of connection or a meant-to-be situation, for he had the same story. He had been the same age. He had felt everything that she had, and he still felt just like she did. Nobody could ever completely understand. People who knew the story were sympathetic to her, but most of them hadn't lived that, hadn't been through it. But he had. That stranger, who was living in her apartment all those days, the distant, formal sulky man, shared her story. He understood.

"Let's go". She barely heard him and he touched her shoulder. "It's time".

Somehow numb, Valerie took her purse and the shoebox and looked at him. He had pulled out a small porcelain object from his pocket and was now pointing his wand at it. The object shone in blue for a few seconds.

"When you touch it, hold it firmly and don't let go until I tell you to. Let me take the box. Just hold on tight and we will be there in a few seconds", he said and seeing the frightened look in her eyes, he completed, "Don't worry. I'll be right by your side".

She nodded and grabbed her purse tighter. When he said "Now!", she held the cold porcelain he was holding, their finger touching on top of it. Everything spun around her, her stomach turned and everything went dark.


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: Everything you recognize is HERS, not mine (*Alice sobs in a corner)_

* * *

**Chapter 5**

"Let go!"

His voice sounded distant and her mind could only respond "_no fucking way_". The world was spinning around her, blurry indistinguishable images rolling too fast, and her stomach seemed to try to run away from her and go back home. The only thing that was firm was her hand tight around the small object and the tips of Severus' fingers on hers.

"Valerie, let lo!"

Reluctantly, she closed her eyes and opened her hand. She felt like falling from a great high, but before she could manage to panic or scream, her feet touched the firm ground and all the spinning craziness stopped. She felt Severus hold her by the elbow to help her steady and opened her eyes, blinking hard a few times to get used to the new place.

"I believe you know this place", Severus said.

When Valerie looked around, she saw they were now standing in a large backyard, a very green grass bathed in sunshine, one single big tree with a massive shadow, all surrounded by a tall white fence. The two stored house was also white and she could see three steps leaving to a glass door.

"The Granger's house!", she said recognizing it. "Is this the '_safe house_'?"

"It is. Miss Granger has lent it to the Order".

She smiled looking up at him, "Rough trip!"

"Indeed. You get used to it."

"I'm trying not to think about the fact that seconds ago I was in my apartment in Brooklyn and now I'm at the Granger's in Middlesbrough."

"Don't think", he said with a smirk. "After you", he completed pointing towards the house

"Are you also staying here?", she asked sill not moving

"I am not. I have my own safe house."

"Oh", she muttered. _Is that… Disappointment in her voice? No. It can't be._ "Well, then… Thank you, Severus. For bringing me here and… The small matter of being there to protect my life."

"Don't mention it. I was doing my job."

"I know you were doing your job", she answered at once. "Should I take back my gratitude, then?"

Valerie though she saw some amusement on his face before he answered. "You're welcome."

She smiled at him again and he saw her open her mouth to say something else when the back door of the house slammed open. "Valerie!", a high pitched voice exclaimed and she looked at its direction

"Hi there!", she said when Hermione came to the backyard and huger her

"You're early! We weren't expecting you for another week!"

"Well, things were sorted out there, I thought…", Valerie said and looked quickly to Severus, "I wanted to save the trouble."

Hermione looked at him as well, "Thank you so much, Professor!"

Severus looked at his former student for a second before turning and walking towards the house without a word. Valerie watched him go away with amused curiosity. "What was that?"

"Oh, just more of the same", Hermione said with a dismissive gesture of her hand. "Come on in! How was the Portkey" Awful, wasn't it?"

Chatting, they entered the house.

"I didn't know the place you talked about was your house, Mione. So Jane and Richard are still in Australia?"

"They decided to stay there; I don't think they're coming back. They really liked the heat and the coast", Hermione said and looked at the people inside. "Everyone? Here's Valerie!"

"Hey, why is Professor Snape in the house?", Valerie heard a voice before the boy entered the kitchen, ginger, tall and strong.

"He brought Valerie!", Hermione answered with a large smile

"Oh, hey! Mione talks about you all the time. I'm Ron!", he said reaching out for her

Valerie shook hands with him. "Oh, I've heard about you. Nice to meet you, Ron."

Hermione's boyfriend turned a little pink and smiled, just as other people entered the room. A middle-aged red-haired woman with a big smile and kind eyes; another boy about Hermione's age with round glasses and a messy black hair; a beautiful girl right beside him with a very long straight red hair; the beautiful man around her age with his face marked with a big scar running down his cheek and – again – red hair who had been to her apartment with Hermione and Severus; pretty blond woman holding his hand. A happy Hermione introduced her cousin to everybody, and questions about her early arrival were made, but she briefly answered that things were done and she wanted to save Snape's trouble.

"That's quite all right, dear", said the matron whose name was Molly Weasley. "You already know the house, am I right? Hermione will show you to your room. Don't worry about anything, you'll be just fine."

"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley. I do know the house. No need to worry about me, now that I'm here in safety, everything is okay".

"There will be an Order meeting here today", informed Bill Weasley, "and as you were caught in the middle of this, we wish you to be present so you can understand what is going on. Just this time, you won't have to bother with the meetings after that."

Valerie smiled looking weirdly at him and back to his mother. They had said too many times in a few sentences that she didn't need to worry about anything. If something, it sounded to her that they were saying that she would have no business meddling in _their_ things.

Still very happy, Hermione took Valerie by the hand and Ginny, the red-haired girl, let go of her boyfriend's hand a followed them. Valerie took the shoe box Severus apparently had left on the kitchen table, and entered the living room with them. The place was different from what she remembered. It looked somewhat warmer; there were colorful plaids on the couches, people sitting around talking, the fireplace was lit even with the heat. Severus was crouching right before the fire – _hold on, is the fire green?_ – and she could hear his voice as if he was talking to someone. The rest of the people there greeted her as well – most of them had red hair – before she could go upstairs with the two girls.

"Oh, wait a minute!", Valerie gasped when they got upstairs, "That's not right!"

When she had lived in that house, so many years ago, the end of the stairs found a corridor with four doors, two on each side. The first door was the Granger's bedroom; the second was a somewhat big bathroom. On the other side, a small study with book shelves and a desk, and the last door was Hermione's bedroom, which she had shared with her when she was just a toddler. What she saw now was completely different. The hallway didn't finish after 15 feet. It kept going for a much bigger length, and the number of doors was now absurdly bigger. There was no physical way a corridor that long could fit into that house, which, Valerie noticed, looked just the same from the outside.

"Well, there was no room for everyone", Hermione explained matter-of-factedly, "so Professor McGonagall enlarged it and created a few more rooms. It's a spell, you know, it fades after a few days, but she's here all the time to replace it."

Valerie fought to close her mouth, reminding herself again that she was about to see too many weird things to be baffled with each. Instead she just nodded and followed the girls. In the middle of the corridor, they stopped and Valerie saw Hermione and Ginny exchange a knowing look. Ginny nodded at her cousin.

"See, Val, there's a small matter… Mrs. Weasley is constantly at the house and she is very nice, don't get me wrong, but she, oh, she…"

"My mom thinks we are children and live in the fifteenth century", Ginny finished. "So she demanded that Hermione and I shared a room, while Harry and Ron shared another. And she said that you could be in our room".

"But what she doesn't know", Hermione lowered her voice to nearly a whisper, "is that we change rooms every night, you see".

"Of course", Valerie agreed immediately. What teenaged couples living in the same house wouldn't do that? "Is there any empty room where I can stay alone and well out of the way?"

Ginny smiled. "Yes, in the end of the hall", she said pointing her thumb above her shoulder. "Just… If you see some movement at night-"

"Movement? What are you talking about?", Valerie smiled and walked past them.

* * *

The bedroom was only big enough to fit a single bed against the back wall, under the window, a wardrobe on the wall on its foot, and a desk on the left side of the door. Maybe producing big spaces with magic was harder than she had thought, after all. Hermione had entered the room with her and transformed her luggage back to the normal size, which filled almost completely the bedroom. Now alone, she started unpacking her clothes and placing them on the wardrobe, filled the desk and its drawers with her belongings, made the bed, arranged the musical instruments by the corner, placed the empty suitcases on top of the wardrobe and was left with a few empty boxes, which she piled up outside the door on the hallway to deal with later.

With everything in place, she sat on the bed and looked around. Being in a small bedroom was not unusual for her; that was okay. Now with her things the room looked kind of cozy, and the mattress was nice. Outside the window she could see the backyard, where now a few boys – who she knew she shouldn't be thinking about as _boys_, they were young adults now – were playing some kind of sport with a flying frisbee that would burst in flames when someone dropped it.

She laid down and stared at the ceiling. She was again in the house where she had lived for four years during her adolescence; four long hard recovering years. After a while after she arrived, the house became synonymous of safety and peace. The Grangers were everything she had never known: loving, supportive, joyful, and communicative. She had to learn all over again to coexist with _parents_. Jane Granger had just lost her sister to a junkie murderer, and almost lost her niece at the same time. It was a hard time for her as well, and Valerie and Jane learned how to support each other through it. Richard Granger, her loving husband, was for Valerie everything her own father had never been. She had tried in the beginning to hide the fear she had to be alone with him, even if somehow she knew it was an unnecessary fear, but when her cautious mind understood that now she was somewhere she could _talk_, everything started to get better.

It was not all of a sudden, though. For the better part of the first two years she had horrible nightmares almost every night, visited a therapist every week, and fought her inner demons. The Grangers were supportive but alto let her live her own life. She went to school and decided that studying made her mind tired enough to soothe other thoughts and memories, and became a better student than she had ever been. Richard shared his passion for books with her; their relationship improved enormously because of that. Little Hermione, a four-year-old child, became a soothing company. Valerie learned how to deal with a child and was of great help to Jane. She helped Hermione to learn how to read and write and encouraged her to read as many books as she could.

After four years with this family, she felt like a part of it, like Hermione's older sister – feeling that had never subsided – and like the Grangers extra daughter. After she finished school she started working, not really knowing yet what she wanted to do with her life, and as a nineteen year-old young woman, decided to go back to New York, to the community where she had grown up, and help other families, other children of junkie parents, other victims of domestic violence, other youngsters to never get into that kind of life.

Hermione knocked on her door a while later to inform dinner was ready. Valerie went downstairs with her and found the house even more crowded than before. People were mostly young, younger than her, and the first thought that crossed her mind was that it looked like a bunch of friends on vacation, instead of a revolutionary group fighting dark magic. An old witch, very well dressed, austere looking, smiled reaching out for her hand. "Minerva McGonagall. It's a pleasure no meet you dear, I'm glad everything worked out".

"Professor McGonagall is Hogwarts' Headmistress and head of the Order of the Phoenix", Hermione introduced her properly, probably eager to show the importance of that woman.

A lot of handshakes later, Mrs. Weasley served dinner. The dining table was too small for everyone, so some people remained in the living room, which was conjoined with the dining room. Valerie was invited to the table and noticed that only the older ones sat there, but tonight Hermione sat with her, Professor McGonagall; Mrs. Weasley; Severus Snape, who had reappeared from wherever he was in his sulky face, silent; and few other people she had just been introduced to: Abeforth Dumbledore, and old man with a big grey beard; Kingsley Shacklebolt, a big black man who people called "_Minister_", although he insisted they called him Kingsley; and Remus Lupin, a tall tired and sad looking man who had arrived a few minutes ago with a baby in his arms, who was now asleep in a stroller. By Mrs. Weasley an empty chair was occupied halfway through dinner, when her husband, Arthur Weasley, arrived, shook hands with everyone and sat down, right across Valerie.

"Good thing you came in earlier, dear", said Mr. Weasley beaming at her. "How was the Portkey? Did you find it better than an airplane? Amazing things, airplanes! The way muggles make such a big thing fly without magic amazes me!"

"Er, well sir, it's really just physics. The force of the air or its wings".

"Incredible!", he said again, "Physics. We never really needed to learn too much about physics, see, with magic it's just not necessary. But I find it fascinating. Tell me dear, what do you do at… Where do you live again?"

"New York. I'm a teacher", she summarized

The other people at the table were talking about something else, leaving Mr. Weasley free to ask all kinds of questions about her and her muggle life. She found it amusing. She was the one who was supposed to be _fascinated_ and asking questions. Sitting by Mr. Weasley's side, Hermione helped with a few answers sometimes, but was mostly talking to the man in front of her, Remus Lupin. Very close to the table, in the living room, the younger party chatted and ate happily, making Valerie wonder if they were in the middle of a crisis involving the dark arts or not. After everybody ate, the table was cleaned with one wand movement from Mrs. Weasley – _that's great! I wish I could do that!_ – and Professor McGonagall rose from her chair at the head of the table.

"I would like to set off this evening's meeting now. The Malfoys must be arriving at any minute, so we can get started". Those who were at the living room moved to stand around the dining table, some of them pulling chairs or benches. "As you all already know, our plan to rescue Ms. Cooper went perfectly well and she arrived today, a week before planed. Welcome, Ms. Cooper".

Valerie smiled shyly at the old witch and looked around as she proceeded. "And Severus, your job over there was perfectly concluded. Thank you. We all know of the importance it had, but tonight I wish to inform our new guest more details about her need to be here. As we have discussed before, the time of secrets and half-truths between the members of this brotherhood is long in behind us. Even Ms. Cooper not being a member of the Order of the Phoenix, she just had her life completely changed and is now here with us and will be for a time, so some of us have decided that she deserves to know and understand all the facts that brought her here."

Valerie sat there while McGonagall told her what was going on, with the occasional help and comments from other members. She already knew some of it; what Hermione, Severus and Bill had told her when they arrived at New York. She was now informed a very summarized version of the end of the second war, a little more than one year ago, and how the Order had become very important in the wizarding society but, at the same time, being responsible for the fall of Voldemort and all the minions, was also now the main target for the neo-movement that wanted to finish Tom Riddle's job.

"Our informants told us about their existence and their plans. They are much more organized and cautious than Riddle was. Jonah Lazarus, their leader, was personally chosen by Tom Riddle to carry on with his work, and even though we know absolutely nothing about this person, we know Riddle would never choose just any wizard to do it. He must be powerful and dangerous, and that's why we need to be very well prepared."

"Ahm…", Valerie started, preventing McGonagall to move on. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but can I ask something?"

She noticed some people exchanging amused looks and overheard someone say 'So like Hermione!', but didn't pay attention. When the older witch told her to go on, she said "You said that your informants told you about them, this Lazarus person. So does it mean that they haven't done anything yet? They haven't attacked anyone or directly threatened anyone?"

"No, they have not, and that's why we know we are at a very good point of advantage.", McGonagall answered

"So, officially, nobody knows they exist. They must still believe, themselves, that they are safely a secret organization, right?", she asked looking around and some people nodded, and she moved on. "So why are you here? You told me the Order was into hiding, and the mental picture I had was that there was a third war going on or something. Why _are_ you all here?"

By her right side, Remus Lupin snorted before saying "I've been saying that from the beginning."

Valerie looked at him and then around at the table, crossing looks with Severus. He nodded shortly at her, making it clear he agreed.

"Actually we are all here", started one of the boys – _no, young man_ – who was introduced to her as Harry, "but we are not into complete hiding".

"The reason most of the Order is currently residing in this safe house is as a meaning of concentration, easy communication and a quick way to resolve things before they come off hand. The members are surely going out doing whatever each one have to do".

"Yes, Harry and Ron are going to Auror Training, others go to work and I have just finished seventh year at Hogwarts", Hermione informed her

Ronald, by her side, snorted. "Can you believe? She actually did go back to school after everything!"

Valerie looked at him frowning and raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I can believe. I wouldn't expect anything different from Hermione", she said and looked again to McGonagall. "I'm sorry for the interruption".

"Not at all, dear", said McGonagall, although her expression didn't agree with her nicety. Before she could speak again, though, the front door of the Granger's house opened and everybody turned to see who had arrived.

"Sorry we're late!", said the blond aristocratic man. "I see you've started without us".

"Have your seats, Lucius, Draco, Narcisa", McGonagall told each one of them. "We did start with the informative part of the meeting, and we are quite through it already. As you can see, Ms. Cooper has arrived in safety", she said pointing with an open hand in Valerie direction.

Lucius Malfoy, now half sitting in a chair, looked at her expressionless for two seconds before saying "I had not actually seen _her_".

Narcisa and Draco gave her small smiles in recognition and the meeting moved on. McGonagall finished explaining to Valerie what they knew about Jonah Lazarus and their plan to hijack her and his motives to do so. "As I know you are aware of, your cousin was an incredibly important piece to the end of the war and our victory. Ms. Granger and Mr.'s Potter and Weasley are the major symbol of the victory of light against darkness, of the hope that our community will always be safe while people like them and the rest of the Order, people who fought so bravely, are around".

Valerie looked around at Hermione and the rest of the table. Some of them looked proud and a few a little shy, but she saw that most of them were smiling at the headmistress. She felt there was some a feeling of union among them, after being through so much together, and she felt completely like the outsider she was.

"As as the three of them are the main symbol of everything the wizarding Britain have been through, they are the first thing Lazarus wants to overthrow. By bringing down the 'Golden Trio'", and by that mention Valerie looked amusedly at Hermione, "they hope to bring down the moral, the faith and the hope of our community, and the belief that the Order has power and the Ministry can rule over the dark magic".

"I understand", Valerie said. "They must have some sort of knowledge in physiology, if they know that when the people don't believe in a better future anymore, it's much easier to rule over them. If there is no hope that things will work out and be better, there is no reason to fight at all".

"Exactly!", McGonagall smiled at her. "That is exactly what they want, with the plus of using that to show what they have come for, to show what they are capable of and to add dread to the hopelessness".

"I see… It makes sense. But using me as bait is really the only way they could do it?"

"Not at all", it was Mrs. Weasley who answered. "But catching them unguarded is a real difficult task. Lazarus doesn't underestimate their talents and the talents of those around them. The safest way to them is to make those three act imprudently and go to him at their own will".

"Would you be that imprudent?", Valerie asked to the three of them

"Knowing that they got you?", Hermione said. "Of course!"

"Without thinking", Ronald completed almost at the same time Harry said "Absolutely".

"The disadvantages of being so predictable", said the oldest Malfoy with a smirk that didn't reach his eyes

'We've been through this already", Mr. Weasley said hastily. "Can we move back to the subject?"

"I get it now", said Valerie. "It's not about Hermione, it's not at all about me, and obviously when they find out I'm not there, they will try something else with the same purpose. And for what I see, all of you can actually leave this house and have a life outside, but I can't be seen, so I will be restrained".

"Unfortunately… Yes", said McGonagall. "But you must know that the reason we are all currently living in this house, if so that we can be together on this, in this concentration, and make it all be over as soon as possible. We have inside information", she said raising an eyebrow in the Malfoy's direction, "we are meeting everyday to plan and soon enough it is all going to be over. All we want is to stop this situation from being the third war".

Valerie nodded and looked down. It was too obvious for her how little she could do. She was silent from then on. The younger Malfoy started talking when McGonagall asked them if they had news, telling the Order – and a very silent and lost Valerie – that a group of Lazarus' minions would go to New York that very weekend to fetch her. As they still didn't know that wouldn't work out, their plans were to send to Hermione a signal that they had Valerie. When asked by Severus what signal would that be, Draco Malfoy looked somewhat bewildered.

"They didn't say it clearly. The four wizards who are ahead of this plan just… Exchanged looks and laughed a lot…"

His mother Narcissa touched his shoulder as she said "Lazarus will be very cautious. He will do one thing at a time and he was it very well planned. He was talking about his steps last night. One, destroy the Trio, and that's the only part he shared details so far. Two, murder the minister", she said looking at Kingsley Shacklebolt, "Three, hunt and kill each and every member of the Order. Four, take out anybody else inside the Ministry who still stands on their way after it all. Five… Taking the power".

They all went silent for a few seconds, exchanging looks. Valerie was worried. Words related to 'killing' were too often used and those plans Narcissa informed sounded just awful. After a few seconds, Mrs. Weasley clapped her hands with a smile and said "Now who would like some tea?"

The spirits on that room changed immediately. People started to get up, Narcissa gave a tiny smirk, and moved with Mrs. Weasley and Professor McGonagall; Draco joined the other boys in the living room; Mr. Malfoy sat beside Severus, Mr. Dumbledore said a quick farewell and moved to the backyard, and Remus and Shacklebolt started talking close to the stroller. Hermione moved closer to her.

"What just happened?", she asked, astonished

"Mrs. Malfoy's news were good. We know the steps, it's nothing we were not foreseeing, and they are all things the Order can work with. When Lazarus believes he is working underground, we have all the advantage. His very first step was already overruled by us, all we need is a way to find out where Lazarus is to plan and end it once for all".

"You don't know where he is? How do the Malfoy's meet him, then?"

"They can't say it. There's a charm, they know where he is, but as he is in a place protected by magic, they just cannot tell us, as they are not the secret keepers".

Valerie shook her head to avoid asking questions she knew she wouldn't understand anyway. "And I was all worried here. Look, I know you all wanted me to be in this meeting so I could understand, thanks for that, but I don't think I will try to follow all this information anymore. I'll just… Help in the house if I can and, you know, stay out of the way".

"Val…", Hermione started

"Honey, just… I need to go to bed. It's been… It's just too much. Don't worry, I'll be fine", she said moving out of the dining room. "I'll see you tomorrow".

Hermione stood watching worriedly as her cousin left her. Valerie looked briefly to Severus, who was still sitting and talking to Mr. Malfoy, and gave him a tiny sad smile. Valerie locked herself in her bedroom and leaned against the door.

She had never felt more useless in her entire life.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: the characters and the universe described are not my creation, they all belong to the goddess JKR.**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

Even in the long hallway, Valerie could hear the sound of voices and laughter and tea things clattering downstairs, something she was definitely not used too. She lay in bed, after finding out by herself which door of the corridor was the bathroom, trying to relax, stop her brains from working so hard and get some sleep. It had been a long day and it was still difficult to understand that tomorrow she would not go to work and see her friends and students. As the minutes passed by, she noticed less and less people were talking downstairs and, nearly three hours later, the house fell into silence. Valerie sighed heavily, tired of being there and relieved now she could go to the kitchen for a tea without the need to talk to anybody.

As she lifted from the bad and looked for a robe in the wardrobe, she remembered the number of nights she had been awake until late – or not asleep at all – and Severus would be there in the living room or the kitchen, and they would share a small talk or just sit in silence for a while, and she realized she missed it. She left her bedroom and walked silently down the corridor, hearing a familiar muffled laugh while passing in front of a door – the boy's bedroom, she remembered. She wished Hermione would be more careful with her voice while doing other stuff.

At the bottom of the stairs, Valerie looked around the living room, empty for the first time. The lights were off, and the space was lighted only by the street lamps outside the window. Now it looked like the home it had been for her years ago, a comfortable silence, the peaceful notion that a family was asleep upstairs. She had always enjoyed it. Smiling to herself, she entered the kitchen, only now noticing the lights were on.

Sitting with his back to the door, Severus was leaning on his chair, balancing it over its back legs, a book opened to his face and a mug resting by his tide at the table. When Valerie stopped, she saw him reach for another mug a slide it in her direction.

"Don't let the tea get cold".

She smiled. He had done it before a few times at her apartment. It was like he knew when she was approaching. When she had asked about it, he just said it was from years of experience.

"Do stop to try and freak me out, will you?", she said sliding a chair to sit by his side

"I don't try, as a number of other things must _freaking you out_ without even trying".

"Yeah, you bet. I've seen green flames in the fireplace, self-burning frizbees, an enlarged corridor and bedrooms that didn't exist, and a dinner table being cleaned with a wave of a wooden stick", she said counting her fingers and looked pointedly at him, "and that was just the first day".

"Try not to think too much of it. You need to be able to sleep without the potion".

Valerie reached for her tea. "Did you add some?"

"Just one drop tonight. I don't want to get you addicted".

"Thanks", she said, sipping on it, "I hope I'll relax with the time".

Severus looked again at his book. Valerie decided to drink her tea very slowly so the effect of the potion would take a while to work on her. "I thought you said you were not staying here".

"I am not".

"It's two in the morning, Severus", she said in a low voice, "and you're right here, sitting in the kitchen".

His eyes met hers above his book. "After everybody in this bloody noisy place goes to sleep, its silence fells quite like my own house. Sometimes when I happen to stay here until late, it makes no real difference to stay or to go home".

Valerie nodded with a small smile and lowered her eyes to the mug, taking another little sip. For a moment she had the innocence to think he had stayed because of her, and she felt completely stupid. Severus didn't seem to notice, for on the next moment he was reading again.

"I'm not used to a full house like that. Even when I lived here it was so much calmer…", Valerie said for the sake of keeping up the conversation

"Neither am I, but when you are part or the Order, and when there are so many people who have barely left their adolescences, you are obligated to adapt".

"And you taught them for a long time, am I right?"

"Yes", he hissed. "Thanks bloody Merlin those days are gone".

Valerie laughed and they went silent again, and she slowly sipped her tea.

"After it all happened…", she spoke slowly and Severus looked up, "I had this house as a safe place to be; safer than my own house ever was. Did you have a place like that?"

Severus closed the book and put it on the table. Crossing his legs, he said "You ask a lot of questions".

Valerie smiled. "I know".

"I had Hogwarts", he answered. "I needn't go anywhere else. It was the end of the summer and I returned to school right away, and became of age that year".

"Became of age, but you were still pretty young. What did you do?"

He looked expressionless at her for a moment, as if considering if he should keep talking or not. Taking a breath, he said "I joined Voldemort and became a Death Eater".

Valerie rested her mug on the table so she wouldn't drop it, forcing her mouth to not hang open. Severus said nothing but kept looking at her, seeing clearly her surprise. After a few moments, Valerie managed to ask "Why?"

"I was angry", he started. "Not just about my muggle father or some other experiences in all those years at school… False luring promises of power and success. I had a young but thirsty mind. Choices for life made in such a tender age can be terrible mistakes".

Valerie looked at her hands in her lap, not sure of what to say now.

Severus felt like he had forgotten how it was to tell something like that to someone who didn't know him. Everybody knew him and his story now, people admired him for that, it didn't matter how many horrible things he had done in the past. But Valerie was a muggle. She was part of the group that was the biggest victim of the hate and prejudice spread by Death Eaters. For a moment Severus wondered why he had told her that. It was not really necessary for her to know details of a past long gone. All she had to know was the reality now, stay for a while when the Order worked and then leave and move on with her life when it was all over.

"Did you, ah…", she started again, still staring at her hands. "Did you think…? Do you share their views about muggles and muggleborns?"

"Do you think if I did I would be sitting here with you?", he said immediately

"Well, you could only be interested in ending the war once for all, but your point of view could—"

"—Valerie", his low solemn voice interrupted her as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. "I do not share their thoughts. I have never seen any sense in discriminating people by their blood status or by having magic or not. That is not why I joined them so many years ago, as I have told you. I don't think you are any different from me for not being able to do magic".

Valerie stared at him in silence for a moment and then nodded, leaning back in her chair and reaching for the tea. "When did you leave?"

"I only really left when the war was over a year ago. But I joined the Order and worked for Dumbledore for long years".

"Double agent?"

"Yes".

"Does it feel like I'm interviewing you?"

"It does", Severus answered in a coarse voice, but as Valerie smiled his expression softened.

"Sorry about that", she said. "It's just, there's apparently so much to know about you…"

"I don't have nice stories to tell".

Valerie finished her tea as Severus restarted reading his book. She got up and washed the mug. Moving towards the living room, she stopped by Severus' side and touched his shoulder. She felt him stiffen slightly.

"Thanks for the potion", she said, not moving her hand

"Any time".

"Will I see you tomorrow?", she asked quietly

He took a moment and then lifted his hand to touch hers, tapping it quickly. "Yes, I'll be here tomorrow. Good night now".

"Good night", she said softly squeezing his shoulder before leaving him alone.

It was not a surprise when Valerie found the house noisy once again in the morning. The smell of breakfast had met her even inside her bedroom, and when she came down, she had to wait until other people finished eating to get a chair by the table. Some people were in the backyard or hanging in the porch, where she found Hermione and Ginny sitting together. She said her good mornings to them and sat on one of the steps outside the kitchen door.

"Did you sleep well?", Hermione asked

"Yes, very well. Had trouble falling asleep, but I'm used to that. Hey, can I ask you something? I mean some things".

"Sure!"

Valerie thought for a few seconds before saying "What's up with the Malfoys?"

Hermione and Ginny looked at each other for a moment before Hermione spoke "Did you find something weird about them?"

"Yes", Valerie answered quickly. "They didn't seem to… Well, except for Draco, but his parents didn't seem to fit here, you know?"

"Yes, I know", Ginny answered. "You're absolutely right".

"Well, Ginny, we can't forget the things they've done for the Order", Hermione reminded her and looked again at Valerie, "but you're right. Lucius Malfoy used to be a Death Eater".

Valerie hanged her mouth open for a moment before speaking "Real Death Eaters or like Snape was?"

"You know about Snape? How?", Hermione asked

"Well, yeah, he told me".

"Why, that's not something you see everyday", said Ginny

"What?", asked a confused Valerie

"Professor Snape doesn't _tell_ things to people, or _talk_ at all, come to think of it", explained Hermione

"Well, I know he's sulky and restrained, but he _does_ talk. Not a lot, but he does. Maybe not with you, you were his students, that king of relationship never really changes, but I wasn't".

"I suppose", Hermione said eyeing her. "Anyway, no. Malfoy was not a Death Eater like Snape was. He was a real one, and remained until the last moment. He and his family suffered from Riddle's rage for a while before the end, and it made them see how wrong things were".

"But even then they stayed with him until the last moment?"

"Yes, I guess".

"So they just chose the winning side. That doesn't sound very honored".

"They were afraid, or so they say", Ginny said. "They wanted to leave but Riddle was too dangerous, they would be considered traitors. Horrible things happened to traitors".

"I see…", Valerie said. ""Nothing like tasting their own poison to change one's views".

"Yes, exactly. To be honest", said Ginny, "I had trouble believing they had changes for a while. Draco was easily, he was our age, we all had some more fights for a while, but eventually things worked out and I actually believe him now. His parents are different, their aristocratic manner never changed, so it's hard to see them with different eyes".

"Well, at least until they looked for Minerva and told her about Lazarus", said Hermione. "He chose to do it and came to a meeting of the Order willingly to tell us all about him and people who are working with him, so after that my opinion about them have changed".

"Their information is the only thing you have about Lazarus? So the Order is working blindly trusting only their word?"

Hermione and Ginny exchanged uncomfortable glanced.

"Actually… Yes", Hermione said. "But we have ways of knowing if someone is saying the truth, and they actually are".

Valerie reached a point where she knew she couldn't give any more opinions. When it came to the use of some king of magic, she knew she had no saying. "Well, if you say so…"

"I confess it's not easy to really trust them like it became easy to trust Snape, though", said Ginny, thoughtful

"But in him you really trust, right?", Valerie asked and directed to Hermione, "I mean, you left him alone with me in New York".

"Yes. I trust Snape completely", she asked vehemently

"We all do", completed Ginny

"Good. I somehow do too. But how did it get to this point? I know he was a real Death Eater, at least in the beginning. What changed?"

At this point, Harry and Ronald, who had finished their breakfast, came to join them, sitting on the floor around the girls. Their girlfriends gave them quick good morning kisses, before Hermione told them what they were talking about.

"A lot happened", Harry answered the question she had made. "For a while everybody believed he was thoroughly on _their_ side, but then he was almost dying and he gave me a few memories so I'd know the true about a lot of unanswered things —"

"— Wait a minute, sometimes you have to go a little slower with me", Valerie said moving so she could face Harry. "He gave you a few _what_, now?"

"Sorry", Harry smiled knowingly. _"Memories_. We can take some memories out of our brains so other people can see it. It's like being there when certain things happened. Very useful, but rare".

"You _watch_ other person's memories, which had just been extracted directly from their brains", she said matter-of-factedly. "Okay, that's not weird at all. Continue".

The younger ones laughed a little before Harry continued. "So, then I saw the memories, and it helped me ending Riddle. It's a real long story. It made us all see how much Snape had given to the cause, how loyal he really was to it, and how brave he had to be for long years. He is actually one of the braves man I have ever met".

Valerie hid a smile and moved on. "You all saw it?", she asked

"Yes", Hermione answered. "That's what helped him to not be prosecuted for war crimes. The proof was in those memories".

"It showed us why he changed sides. You see, when he was young, he –"

"— I'm sorry to interrupt again", said Valerie raising a hand. "Does he know you all have seen it?". As they answered positively, she said, "How does he feel about that? I mean, the man was dying and gave away intimate memories of his past to help the madman to be defeated, and the next thing he learns is that everybody he knows have watched those memories?"

"Yeah, he knows and he's not happy at all about it", Ronald answered with a half smile. "I mean, it saved him from being sent to Azkaban, but he still resents it. Go figure!"

"He resents it, then", Valerie said. "And you were about to tell me anyway?"

"Well, that's what explains everything", said Ronald

"Was it necessary for everyone to see it?"

The younger ones exchanged uncomfortable glances.

"See, for what I understand here, _but that's just me_, the ones who needed to know the man's secret past things were Harry, to end up that _motherfucker_, and the judges, board, something, to set him free from jail. Am I right?"

"Yes, but if you hear someone tell what was in it, you would want to see it too!", said Ronald, trying to defend himself

"Oh, you see, I actually wouldn't. And I don't want you to tell me. I don't need to know it except if he decides to tell me. Memories are the most personal thing a person can have, even as a _muggle_ I know that. I think he has every right to resent you people for poking around something like that".

They all went silent for a while, looking extremely uncomfortable. Valerie sighed before speaking again. "I'm sorry if I sounded harsh, it was not my intention. I just thought…", she looked directly to Hermione, "that you'd be a little more respectful with other people than that. It surprised me".

Without another word, Valerie stood and walked back into the house.

By the kitchen counter, very close to the door that led outside, leaning against it, Severus sipped his tea seeming very relaxed. Valerie stopped walking when she saw him.

"Eavesdropping?", she smiled at him

Smirking, he took another sip of tea before answering "Yes".

She smiled and touched quickly his upper arm. "I'm glad it doesn't look like it upset you".

"Just be glad you were the first one I saw", he said placing his empty tea cup on the counter.

"I wouldn't wish to be on their place. Have you talked to Harry about it?"

"No, and I never shall", he said folding his arms in front of him. "Not that he hadn't tried, the foolish child. He thinks he owns me something".

"Well… I don't really know anything about it. But he seems to admire you a lot".

"Yes, if only he would stop saying that in ever given opportunity".

Valerie smiled at him and opened her mouth to say something when the front door opened and the sound of a screaming baby entered the house before Remus Lupin carrying his son.

"Precious", said Severus. "Here comes the pack".

Valerie looked back at him. "Pack?".

"Never you mind".

"Anybody home?", Lupin asked from the living room, and his voice was almost covered by his son's cries.

"I'll be going now", Severus said to Valerie. "I shall probably return to have dinner".

"Oh… I thought you'd stay. Are you leaving because he arrived?", she said pointing with her thumb above her shoulder

"I do not force myself any company I do not enjoy", he said stepping closer to her. "And so he is certainly one to avoid".

"All right. I'm gonna wanna know the story later".

"Later", he repeated and stood close to her for a moment before walking around her and entering the living room. She took a few seconds to be able to move, and followed him in time to see him wave at Lupin without a word and leave the house through the front door.

"Hey! What's the matter?", she asked Lupin

"Oh, hi there", he said putting a bag inside the baby's stroller. "He's fine, or so I think he is. Sometimes he just won't stop; I never know what to do".

"Oh poor baby. Can I try?", she asked him reaching out for the baby

"Ah, well, sure", Remus said uncertain and Valerie held the baby and took him from his arms.

"What's his name?"

"Teddy".

She turned around and started walking around the living room under Remus' astonished gaze. The ones who were sitting with her on the porch a few minutes ago entered the room then, having heard Remus and Teddy's arrival. Valerie was rocking the baby in a rhythm, murmuring something they couldn't hear. It didn't take a minute before the screaming faded and silence took the room again. They all stared at her. Teddy had his face wet in tears but had stopped crying and now looked directly at her face. Before Valerie's eyes, the brown straight hair of the baby slowly transformed into long blonde curls, his nose thinned and his eyes gained a clear shade of blue. He looked like an angel. Valerie's eyes widened and she stared at Teddy for several seconds with her mouth open before looking at Remus.

"What?"

"He, ah… Teddy was born with this ability", he said stepping closer and looking from his son to Valerie. "I mean, he's a metamorphmagus".

"Whatever that means", she said quietly looking again at the baby and smiled at him, who looked impressively like herself. "What is wrong, honey? Do you wanna tell me?"

Teddy snuggled to her and went very quiet as she cuddled his curly hair.

"He does that sometimes, cries himself to sleep and there's nothing me or his grandmother can do. I think he misses his mom".

Valerie held the baby tighter. "What happened?"

"We lost her in the final battle", she said patting his son's back gently

"Oh… I'm sorry".

"Thank you…", he shrugged. "Teddy will always know how brave his mother was. She was one of many who gave their lives for the light".

Valerie sat at the couch cuddling Teddy, rocking him slowly. "I'm sure he will be very proud of her".

"As I am", said Remus sitting by her side. "He gets it from her, you know, his talent. Even at the moment he was born, his hair changed into every possible color". Valerie smiled trying to picture the scene. "You got him to sleep, it's amazing. Looks like you have a way with children".

"Yes, I do", she said smiling. "I work with children and teenagers".

With Teddy fast asleep in her arms, Valerie talked for a long time with Lupin. She took long moments to notice everyone else had left the living room and left them alone. She told him about her work and about her life in New York, and he told her everything about Nynphadora – _She hated to be called that!_ – and how life was now without her. He had his friend's help with the baby whenever he needed, but Dora's mother, Andromeda, was indispensable for him.

Valerie enjoyed the conversation and wondered why Severus had said Remus was a company he did not enjoy. She made a mental note to really ask him later, as she had told him. She missed a few words from what Remus was saying wondering when Severus would return to the house, wishing he was there right now.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Hermione cornered Valerie in the kitchen at the very moment she found her alone.

"So?", she asked smiling

"So what?"

"What just happened there?"

"Oh, you're talking about my super powers to calm the baby?"

"Of course not, I'm talking about your super powers to make the baby's father's eyes shine again!"

"What?"

"Remus was all over you!", Hermione said. "Don't tell me you didn't notice".

"Hermione, that did not happen. I helped with the baby and we talked, that was all", Valerie said turning to fill a glass of water

"All right then", Hermione said still smiling

"Seriously, Mione! I talk to a guy and you are making wedding plans?"

"Ok, sorry, I don't know about you, but the look I saw in Remus' eyes was one that I hadn't seen since he was with Dora. And he deserves it, he is a great man. I wish to see him happy".

"I appreciate the sentiment, but we have really just talked. And I have talked to other men as well, Bill, Severus, why are you making such a big deal about Remus?"

"Because Bill is happily married and Professor Snape is… Well, he's Snape!"

"What's wrong about being Snape?"

"Valerie! You know how sulky, rude, restrained and… And… Snape he is!"

Valerie laughed, "Okay, very well argued, dear".

"Oh come on, Val, you can't seriously think Snape would be better for you than Remus".

"Hermione, honey, please listen to yourself. I am not looking for anyone. I have just finished a relationship with a guy I really liked. And if, and I really mean _if_ I was open to something like that, my opinion would count a lot more that anybody else's".

"Oh, I know that, Val, and I'm sorry. I got carried away by the sight of Remus smiling with shining eyes again. I was happy to see him like that, and I thought it would be great for you and him to know each other a little more. I don't want to meddle, I'm sorry".

"It's okay, baby", Valerie smiled. "I see you care about him".

"Well, it's not that I _care_ about him…", Hermione wrapped her arms around herself.

"U-hum".

"Valerie!", Hermione exclaimed. "I have a boyfriend, and I happen to like him a lot!"

"Okay, okay!", Valerie raised her arms in defense. "Look, I can see that Remus is a great guy, nothing wrong with him. You know him better than I do. Just… It was really just a talk, it meant nothing. Right?"

"Right".

When they turned to leave the kitchen together, Valerie stopped Hermione touching her arm. "And, Mione, just… Think a little better if you really don't _care_ about him".

Not waiting for her to reply, Valerie crossed the living room and reached the stairs. She fancied a shower before coming back down for lunch. The day was as hot as it had been in New York, and her habit of wearing long skirts was making her sweaty. After a quick stop in her bedroom to take her shower things, she locked the bathroom door and showered slowly, losing track of the time while her mind wondered around the things Hermione had just said to her.

She had been in the house for only a day now, but in those hours she had tried to observe people as most as she could. She knew Hermione very well; even in all those years apart, they had kept in touch as much as possible. In the summer, they could spend hours on the phone talking about their personal matters. Hermione never told her details about her life as a witch or about the war, they really talked about themselves. Hermione had told her when she started having feelings for Ronald Weasley and how long he took to start seeing her as a girl, but she had also heard her talk about an older man who had taught her and her friends at Hogwarts for a term, and how she admired and thought he was handsome; Hermione had talked about him a lot during along the time, every time she had a chance. She had also talked a lot about Ronald, though, and now, for all that Valerie knew about Hermione, she could tell her baby cousin had mixed feelings but didn't even know about it.

But it was what she had observed during those hours in the house that intrigued her. Except for Hermione's laughter coming from the boy's room the night before, and a quick peck on the lips they shared that morning, she hadn't seen a single affection demonstration; they didn't hold hands, they didn't escape to be alone; they didn't share the looks couples in love usually do. She thought about how she had been with Edward, a couple in love who couldn't take their hands off each other, and that was definitely not what she saw between Hermione and Ronald.

She stopped moving with her hands stuffed in her shampooed hair, the soap dripping over her face. Shocked to realize how little she had been thinking about the man _she_ had feelings for, she opened her eyes and felt them burn.

"Fuck!", she washed the shampoo out of her eyes.

It had been just a little more than a week since she had broken up with Edward; an incredible man who had been her friend for a long time before finally asking her out, who had been a companion, a friend and a lover, and had told her not just once that he desired a future with her. Now, so little later, Valerie realized she hadn't been thinking about him. Or missing him.

_What's wrong with me?_

Surely it was about all the new things that had been going on, leaving home and joining this weird group of people. _Of course_, she thought, trying to convince herself. Minutes later, already dressed, she opened the bathroom door convinced that her lack of reaction to Edward's absence has absolutely nothing to do with…

"_Severus!_"

He was just there, standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall opposite the door. When she left, a cloud of steam surrounded her and he thought she looked like an apparition.

"You took a real long time in the shower", he complained

"I didn't know somebody was waiting. You could have knocked". _I might_ _have let you in_. She flinched slightly at the surprise of her own thought.

"I did try using the lavatory downstairs, but I daresay this one… smells… much better". Snape moved from the wall and stepped towards Valerie. She didn't move an inch as he looked down at her and inhaled deeply and slowly. "Exceedingly better".

She took a moment to remember how to breathe again and swallowed hard. Her wet hair was dripping over her shoulders and she saw Snape's eyes follow a drop of water going down her skin a disappearing inside her blouse.

"Coconut"", she babbled pointing slightly at her hair and Severus looked again at her eyes.

"There's something more", he almost whispered and breathed again. "Honey, perhaps?"

"Hmm… Yes. Body lotion".

Valerie saw him try not to smile, the corner of this mouth go slightly up before he spoke, still in that whispered low voice, "Don't tease me, woman…"

She didn't hold her smile as she lowered her eyes a little embarrassed. In a second she looked at him again, prepared to say something, when they heard footsteps on the bottom of the stairs leading to the hallway. Severus took a step back, immediately wearing his expressionless mask, and Valerie swallowed hard again and cleared her throat.

"I thought you had left", she said controlling the tone of her voice

"I had. Molly called me back for lunch".

"Right… So, uh… I'll see you then".

"Excuse me", he said nodding and passing by her to enter the toilet. Valerie turned to go to her bedroom before seeing who was coming upstairs. I didn't matter. She closed the door behind her a leaned against it.

_Damn._

* * *

After lunch, Valerie sat with the others in the living room while Mrs. Weasley prepared tea for everyone. They younger ones spread themselves around the floor, maybe because it was cooler there then in the couches and armchairs. The subject they were talking about – after George Weasley told his friends about one disastrous first date he had had – moved on until some of them were sharing stories of their own.

"Valerie had some funny ones, don't you Val?"

"What makes you think that?", she asked her cousin

"You've already told me some!"

"Oh, well, I actually do, but I don't think I wanna tell—"

"Oh, come on!", Hermione insisted along with her friends

"All right, fine! Ahm… Okay, once there was a guy, first date, took me to dinner, and for some obscure reason, had trouble remembering my name". She paused and looked around, amused, before continuing. "So he asked of it was okay if he called me Amy instead". As they laughed, she went on, "and he explained himself saying that _Valerie_ was a real hard name to remember _and_ to pronounce. And that came from a guy named _Dick_".

In minutes, Valerie noticed she was surrounded by a large group of very happy young people, most of them red headed, enjoying her stories and laughing a lot. Other people were in the room too, like the older Weasleys, Remus and Severus, but they were more contained on their reactions, although she saw some of them laughing as well sometimes.

"…and then, well, it was going to happen, first time, very exciting, and when I took his shirt off and looked at him…", she made a gesture in front of her indicating the man's chest "There was something wrong. There was, uh, a very prominent, uh…", she paused and scratched her head as if thinking about hot to say it, and then blurted it out. "He had a third nipple".

She remained serious as everybody in the room laughed. Even Snape, who she had never really seen _laughing_, had chuckled, and she only noticed it because she had been glancing at him from time to time. "You're laughing, right?", she went on. "But then I tried, I swear I tried with all my guts to move on and don't look at it again, but Gods, it kept calling out '_third nipple, third nipple_'. And I said I was sorry but I couldn't stay, and I left and never saw him again".

"Okay!", she remembered one more. "Blind dates. _Blind dates_, don't do that! Don't you ever do that, oh, God!", she said burying her face in her hands for a moment before continuing. "There was a period of time when I was single for an awful long time, and a few friends of mine decided to introduce me to every single guy they knew. There was no refusal, most times I didn't wanna go but they were driving me crazy already. That's when I found out that my guy friends have the worse taste in man ever. The first guy I met, they had described as a good looking tall accountant guy. All right, accountant, he must be at least smart, so okay. When the guy showed up in front of me I looked up at him. And I kept looking up. And a little more. And a little more until I found his face", she said looking up at the ceiling as people around her laughed. "Seriously, his belly button was just in front of my eyes. If I looked down a little bit… Oh, no!".

They laughed again. Teddy's stroller was right beside Remus and the baby, startled, cried aloud immediately. Remus got up, and the sound of Teddy's yowls seemed to dissipate the group. Valerie thanked the baby for that, somehow. She was running out of stories and was already feeling like she was showing a wrong image of herself.

"Val, can I talk to you for a moment?", Hermione said approaching her

"Sure! What's up?"

"Upstairs?"

Alone, they entered Valerie's room and Hermione closed the door behind her, turning immediately to her cousin. "Damn you, Valerie Marie Cooper!"

"What, why, what did I do?"

"'_I see that you care about him'_, '_Think better if you don't care about him_'!", Hermione said in a high pitched voice

"Okay, calm down, people will hear you".

"No, they won't. _Muffliato_", she said pointing her want to the door. "Why did you have to say those things to me, Val?"

"'Mione, relax, if I made you think about, it means there was actually something to think about, wasn't it?"

Hermione dropped heavily in Valerie's bed. "Maybe… I don't know!"

Valerie sat by her side, her back to the bed's headboard. "Tell me what you're thinking".

Hermione was silent for a long moment before dragging on the bed until her back was on the wall, legs extended in front of her. "Remus is…", she started uncertain. "He's an incredibly good man. He has a big heart, he's brave, smart, intelligent… He's been through a lot, you have no idea… He really almost died at the final battle".

"Really? What happened?"

"Professor Snape saved him. He had also almost died by Voldemort's hand himself, and his snake, but he had a few potions with him all the time. He never told us too many details, he just said he had just enough time to drink the right ones before passing out, and when he woke up he was weak but he returned to the battle. That's when he found Lupin fallen, unconscious, and helped him".

"Oh… But then why don't they get along?"

"It's complicated. They have been to school together and many problems happened back then. They are civil with each other, but I don't see them being friends anytime soon. And after Remus woke up, days after the battle, he questioned why Professor Snape didn't save Tonks as well, or instead of him. He really loved her very much…"

"And why didn't he?"

"Says there was nothing else he could do at that point, but Remus had a hard time understanding that, he mourned her and hated Snape for that for a long time. I think he's better now, it's been more than a year, and now they don't fight anymore every time they meet".

"I see". Valerie wanted to know more about what had happened to Snape back then, but the wrinkles in Hermione's forehead showed her it was not time to think about her own curiosities. "Okay, so Remus is great".

"Yes. But you know, I admire him, that's all. I respect him very much, and I worry about him, without Tonks to raise the baby, things must be so hard for him… But that's what it is, admiration. I worry about him as I worry about any of my friends, that's all".

"All right", Valerie accepted. "Now talk to me about your boyfriend".

Hermione sighed. "Ron… Ron is amazing. He is a great companion, he's funny, and we've been through so much together. He had our rows, we still have, our differences, but I absolutely adore being with him".

"Good, that's good… Well, you have actually described a perfect best friend".

"Well, he is my best friend!", Hermione said turning to face Valerie. "Ron and Harry have been my best friends since forever".

"So you could describe Harry just like you described Ron?"

"Well—", Hermione stopped herself, looking attentively at some point of the duvet that covered the bed.

"Okay, I'll take that as a yes. So Ron is your best friend, with whom you do some other stuff as well".

"Yes…", Hermione said slowly. "A few other stuff".

"A few? Come on, you do to his room every night, a think there's more than a few—"

"—I do sleep with him. But… We sleep".

"Sleep? When you say _sleep, _you mean _sleep_?"

"Yes, all right, we sleep, we haven't actually… I mean, we did do other things, of course, but we didn't… Do it. Yet."

Valerie leaned towards Hermione. "'Mione… Are you still a virgin?"

Hermione hugged her knees against her chest, her face turning pink as she looked down again. "Yes", she answered simply

"You don't have to be ashamed of that", Valerie touched her cousin's arm. "If you didn't feel like doing it yet, that nothing could have made you do it. You're completely right to remain a virgin until you reach the right and perfect moment".

Hermione nodded with a little smile.

"Although, Mione… I have to say. You've know your boyfriend for, how many years now?"

"Eight years".

"Eight years, and you've been officially together for more than a year… You sleep with him in his bed, and you still don't feel like it's the moment to do it?"

They stared at each other in silence. Valerie decided to stop talking and let her think for herself. Hermione took a long moment before breathing heavily and hiding her face in her hands. "The normal thing would be to have done it already, isn't it?"

"I don't know if _normal_ is a good word. But it would be natural to a girl who loves her boyfriend to _want_ to do it. And do it a lot. Every night. Needing to silence the room as you did here. Having trouble walking the next…"

"Ok, okay, I got it!", Hermione said aloud and they giggled a little. Hermione stopped smiling. "And people say I am the smartest witch of my age".

"And I'd say the same. You are smart, and intelligent, and bright. But _this_ is not in any book. This is life, and if I was not talking to you about it, you would figure it out by yourself at some point".

"Figure out? I don't think I've figured it out! For all I know I'm just even more confused".

"For how long have you been confused?"

"I'm not sure… I guess I tried not to think about it too much. It's too hard".

"I know, honey… But at some point you need to really consider it… And do something about it". As Hermione remained silent, thoughtful, Valerie carried on. "Don't rush yourself in any direction. Do not think you must have sex with him to proof anything, and do not believe that you must break things soon because you have doubts. Respect your own time and your own feelings".

Hermione breathed a smiled sadly. "Thank you, Val… I knew I could talk to you about it. I do have Ginny to talk about stuff, but she's Ron's sister, it'd be weird. I'm glad you're here, even though it's for bad reasons".

"Any time, honey. What are older sisters for?"


End file.
